Feedback for thesis please

[Sarahxx16]

I need some feedback for my thesis. The question is “ how has the text you have studied use voice in occur to explore the complexity of cultural identity?

Text often use voice as a way to deliver a message of importance to the audience, which can sometimes be a general and broad message. However in the poem “ Eyes” and “ Trance” written by Ali Cobby Eckermann, who is an indigenous women which is completely different to other poets, uses a unique voice to express her experience. In her poems, she writes about her deep experience that is complicated to understand especially about cultural identity because in order to understand , we must go through similar experiences.

[jamonwindeyer]

Hey Sarah! Some thoughts:

- I think saying "completely different to other poets" is probably a bit of an exaggeration/too colloquial; there are definitely other female poets, there are definitely other indigenous poets, there are probably other indigenous female poets. I would just say her unique context as an indigenous female poet gives her a unique voice which resonates strongly with audiences, or something similar.

- I think overall it is quite broad, you need to delve into some of the ideas you'll be discussing in the essay. "Message of importance," "deep experience," - What are these? What sort of themes are covered? The purpose of a Thesis is to establish the points/argument of your essay, so you need to do more to prepare the reader for what it is to come.

- You should conclude with some sort of evaluative/summative statement. For example, "It is through the effective use of literary technique that Eckermann is able to communicate the complexities of cultural identity to her audience." This ensures a strong link to the question