24 June 2019
Hey guys!
First and foremost, I’d like to say thank you so much to all those that took the precious time out of their day to reply to my first post. I hope everyone had a lovely weekend.
When I wrote my first journal entry, little did I know that I’d have so many keen beans joining me on this journey for the next few months. Get ready, because we are truly in for a wild ride.
Today I thought that I’d give a little run down of the events earlier this year that have lead to where I am now in order to follow on from my introduction in the first journal entry. Let’s take a quick glance at my experience thus far in Year 12:
Term 1:
I went into this term determined to overcome the myriad of challenges that I would be faced with throughout the year. Deep down my feelings of confidence were inextricably laced with feelings of fear, fear of failure and a fear of letting down those around me. It is one thing to have a goal of a high ATAR, but another challenge entirely to achieve a number that I’ve envisioned so visibly in my mind whenever things get tough.
The SACs came at me full speed as soon as the year started. I remember trying to stay calm when my teachers announced my SAC dates and I found out that I had three SACs in the span of two days, whilst those around me weren’t as fazed due to having their SACs evenly spaced out. (Yay, the perks of sticking out like a sore thumb by doing both the humanities and a two STEM subjects that often clash in terms of assessments).
Miraculously, I managed to survive this term and emerged unscathed and somehow also found the opportunity amidst my hectic schedule to turn up to band rehearsals in between. Running on 6 hours a sleep some days was perhaps one of the biggest setbacks though, as I often found my eyes feeling heavy and almost gave into the sweet, sweet temptation of sleep even when the teacher was teaching us something that I would definitely regret not listening to. If only we could have ‘nap time’ in year twelve like we did in kindergarten.
The main highlight of this first term:
-Formal. It was worth all the hype in the lead up, as I had an amazing night filled with laughter, dancing and smiling until my face felt sore. (It still hurt to smile for several days after lol). Looking back, the memories that I made with friends that night will stay with me for years to come. Formal will definitely be in my list of things that I’ll miss the most about school.
Term 2:
I remember feelings very underprepared for the onslaught of SACs that would ensue. One of my teachers even warned me that Term 2 was apparently the most stressful terms of the year in terms of the rising workload. However, I found that Term 2 was better than Term 1 in that the mere word ‘SAC’ did not elicit fear within me, but rather an urge to commit to studying and get organised as soon as possible. Having two assessments in a day the previous term definitely prepared me in terms of what to expect and how to prepare. (Thank god I narrowly missed having 3 SACs in one day).
I was even able to loosen up a little and went to a couple of my friends’ 18th birthday parties which taught me the importance of balance. I think sometimes it’s so easy to forget to take time to have moments of enjoyment and fun with the people that you care about, especially when the end goal of the ATAR starts to cloud every aspect of your vision. I’ll only ever get one final year of school and I know that it’ll be a lot harder to keep in contact with my friends and classmates once school ends. I really should make the most of the connections that I still have.
This term, I found that my motivating was dimming. I found myself becoming overwhelmed with floods of doubt that did not seem to ease. Doubt about whether I would even get into my desired courses and about letting my parents down when all they’ve given me is endless support and words of encouragement.
As an introvert, I tend to bottle my feelings up and have an extremely hard time opening up to anyone. Waves of procrastination would come and go, and I felt myself unrelentingly becoming mad at myself whenever I didn’t complete the tasks that I had set out to do. I hardly ever talk to anyone about how I feel on the inside, to the point that it’s almost becoming detrimental.
Term 2 has come to an end, and I will use these next few weeks of school holidays to try and gain back traction and to also lay out a solid framework for the next term, the last full term before a graduate. Hopefully my motivation will rekindle itself when I need it the most.
Side Note: The UCAT is also fast approaching, in less than a few weeks. I really need to get my act together and do more preparation because at this rate, I don’t think I will do well at all because I’ve barely scratched the surface.
Now for the main highlight of Term 2:
-Sitting the GAT. (I know this seems like the opposite of a highlight haha, but hear me out). Now I was one of those people that did not bring a dictionary, and went into the GAT feeling confident that I would know all the necessary vocabulary. Then I was instantly hit in the face with the word ‘jocularity’ and other words for which I did not even have a clue what they even meant.
It was actually quite amusing, because I remember telling one of my friends literally two second before walking into the examination room that I did not need a dictionary at all.
For some reason, I really enjoyed doing the GAT the writing tasks,as this year’s ones were SO much better than last year’s one. It also helps that I enjoy writing. Also, the memes that emerged made every single second the three hours of my life that I’ll never get back worth it. The reason why the GAT was a highlight for me was because it was an event that everyone sitting a 3/4 subject had to endure, but all somehow turned it into a positive event with all the hilarious GAT memes and jokes that gave me probably one of the best laughs that I’ve had in years. The thought that I never have to do some of the unnecessarily difficult questions in the GAT again also makes me feel very joyous.
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Wow, that was a very long journal post haha. It’s just so hard to sum everything up that has happened to me so far this year in a few paragraphs. I could literally write a novel about my first semester.
I also want to have this journal to reflect on and reminisce after Year 12 and will try and update it as frequently as possible.
Well that’s it for now. I really hope that I can stop procrastinating and will try and have a productive week.
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Topic: Bean's Tumultuous Year 12 Journey (Read 13640 times)