Flamboyant writing?

[m@tty]

Hey guys.

What are some great methods or elements to infuse into your writing to add a spark of awesome to your writing?
Something to separate you from all the other decent writers, those who get the 7s, 8s and 9s? What can be added to distinguish your essay from the crowd in these upper range scores? Like striking introductions, deep discussion and powerful conclusions? By what paths can this be achieved?

Thanks guys

[appianway]

Deep discussion would be what I'd say (although I'm not sure what marks I'll get in English - we don't have any SACs back yet). Solidify your points and clearly substantiate why they hold. Link strongly to the topic and consider the themes profoundly.

[m@tty]

Yeah, that sounds good. What word count do they expect for SACs at your school? We have text response tomorrow and we have 800 words as a guideline...

What about trying to insert some clever imagery, playing on the imagery used in the text and linking intimately with the topic?

[shinny]

I tended to rely on tying the theme in the essay topic to the author's contention or message in the text in my conclusion to end strongly and avoid simply summarising my points.

[andy456]

800 words as a guideline...

Just thought i'd join in, My teacher told us that a response with less than 1000 words will probably not go into enough detail. Dunno bout other schools but.

[ninwa]

I've gotten 10/10 for essays with around 800 words (they were terrible topics though). Quality not quantity... unless the quantity is less than ~700, then you might have a problem...

The essays I got 9 or 10 for were always ones where I really pulled the topic apart and analysed it, and offered a slightly "wacky" (for lack of a better word) interpretation. Not sure how to explain it but if you want to give me a topic I can try to show you what I mean.

Then again maybe it's just my teacher who liked that since his prediction of my English score was far higher than what I actually got...

[m@tty]

I agree Andy, but I think he is just setting a slightly lower 'standard' to render it less daunting for less able students.

I've gotten 10/10 for essays with around 800 words (they were terrible topics though). Quality not quantity... unless the quantity is less than ~700, then you might have a problem...

The essays I got 9 or 10 for were always ones where I really pulled the topic apart and analysed it, and offered a slightly "wacky" (for lack of a better word) interpretation. Not sure how to explain it but if you want to give me a topic I can try to show you what I mean.

Then again maybe it's just my teacher who liked that since his prediction of my English score was far higher than what I actually got...

Must have been darn good quality

Hmm, wacky. So you took a slanted perspective on the topical material? I am aware this text, On the Waterfront, is unfamiliar to you, but how about this topic:

"The girl and her father have their hooks in him so deep." What other "hooks" in the film maintain a hold over Terry?

Basically about a man, Terry, torn between his past, which has led him to feel a sense of loyalty owed to a mob including his brother, and his newfound love with Edie (the 'girl'), who has sparked his conscience and is leading him down a path to testifying against the mob who killed her brother in the opening scene...

What would be a "wacky" interpretation of the 'hooks'?

Far higher? As in more than 5 SS points?


EDIT: Good idea Shinny. Would signify a much wider and considered understanding of the text... Problem is identifying the underlying message, and how it relates to topics :S

[ninwa]

Far higher = 4 SS points (.... can you say "shattered on results day"? )

Haha wow it's really difficult when I don't know the text so I shall employ some artistic licence here (read: make up crap), sorry if I get the plot wrong I guess here I would make a distinction between internal and external hooks and how they interact with each other:

External (girlfriend, her father) vs. internal (loyalty)
Internal (love for the girl, fear of the law? desire to establish better prospects?) vs. external (mob, brother)
External vs. external (law vs. "mob law")
Internal vs. internal (safety in love vs. safety in groups)

I'd also grab the word "deep" and look at that - whether "depth" really has anything to do with it. You could distinguish "depth" on the basis of time (mob member for much longer than with girlfriend), and emotion (love for girlfriend exceeds loyalty toward mob?). Assuming he hasn't dated her for long...

Perhaps look at the word "maintain" - suggesting it's a long-term thing. Perhaps some of the hooks fade away with time, or with the events that happen throughout (I dunno like, for examples sake, if his brother calls his gf a whore, that's gonna erode their r/ship a bit).

Sorry, that's all I got without knowing the text beyond what you've told me

[happyhappyland]

Yeh I have difficulties expressing myself with elaborate words to make my essays real fancy. I just do rote learning by memorising fancy phrases through massive amounts of practise essays. :S

[EvangelionZeta]

Yeah, that sounds good. What word count do they expect for SACs at your school? We have text response tomorrow and we have 800 words as a guideline...

What about trying to insert some clever imagery, playing on the imagery used in the text and linking intimately with the topic?

Not to contradict Ninwa or anything, but teachers at our school (ex-exam markers, at that) have basically "put it out there" that the chances of you scoring 10/10 without a 1000+ word essay aren't so high.  Quality over quantity for sure, but quantity of quality is also important.  When you've got schools that encourage high achieving students to write 1200+ word, 7 paragraph essays, you need that extra edge to stand out.

In regards to writing well, I basically like to put it this way; if you re-read it to yourself and it sounds nice, then it's nice.  The other important aspect that is easy to get down is to write good conclusions - often, the marker will read the intro in-depth (and maybe the first body paragraph), skim the rest and then read the conclusion thoroughly as well.  It also helps because having a good conclusion lands you a nice lasting impression - try and use funky endings that have a certain ring to them.

[m@tty]

Far higher = 4 SS points (.... can you say "shattered on results day"? )

Yeah. So what did you end up getting? 16 ...

Haha wow it's really difficult when I don't know the text so I shall employ some artistic licence here (read: make up crap), sorry if I get the plot wrong I guess here I would make a distinction between internal and external hooks and how they interact with each other:

External (girlfriend, her father) vs. internal (loyalty)
Internal (love for the girl, fear of the law? desire to establish better prospects?) vs. external (mob, brother)
External vs. external (law vs. "mob law")
Internal vs. internal (safety in love vs. safety in groups)

I'd also grab the word "deep" and look at that - whether "depth" really has anything to do with it. You could distinguish "depth" on the basis of time (mob member for much longer than with girlfriend), and emotion (love for girlfriend exceeds loyalty toward mob?). Assuming he hasn't dated her for long...

Perhaps look at the word "maintain" - suggesting it's a long-term thing. Perhaps some of the hooks fade away with time, or with the events that happen throughout (I dunno like, for examples sake, if his brother calls his gf a whore, that's gonna erode their r/ship a bit).

Pathetic.. And to think you get straight 100s in uni...

That's radically different to the way I would structure it (along with all the other robots)...

I'd imagine such a strategy could work very well..
And no one can refute it if your evidence and explanations are good enough >.> Now to abstractify my mind...

Also, with focusing on words such as "maintain". It just seems a little pedantic to me. Would you make a big deal of it? Or would it be just a passing bonus link to the topic?...

Good work, especially for not knowing the text

Sorry, that's all I got without knowing the text beyond what you've told me

Still write a better essay than me :buck2:

Yeh I have difficulties expressing myself with elaborate words to make my essays real fancy. I just do rote learning by memorising fancy phrases through massive amounts of practise essays. :S

In my limited experience it is often counterproductive to seek elaborate words. Rather it is often much clearer and better for the flow of your essay to write what comes first to mind. Unless there is some word you have to use, like in a topic sentence or whatever other situation may arise. The way I like to gain new words is to select 3-4 awesome ones and have them with me when writing essays, then the next week add several more, eventually the older words will become incorporated into your own vocabulary and you won't have to refer to the sheet . Similarly with phrases the only way to learn them is to write them. But better than learning some fancy ones is reflecting on your own expression and tweaking it, in this process you will pick up your own flaws and how to expunge them and simultaneously identify elements or approaches to infuse into your writing to make it naturally awesome.

[m@tty]

Not to contradict Ninwa or anything, but teachers at our school (ex-exam markers, at that) have basically "put it out there" that the chances of you scoring 10/10 without a 1000+ word essay aren't so high.  Quality over quantity for sure, but quantity of quality is also important.  When you've got schools that encourage high achieving students to write 1200+ word, 7 paragraph essays, you need that extra edge to stand out.

In regards to writing well, I basically like to put it this way; if you re-read it to yourself and it sounds nice, then it's nice.  The other important aspect that is easy to get down is to write good conclusions - often, the marker will read the intro in-depth (and maybe the first body paragraph), skim the rest and then read the conclusion thoroughly as well.  It also helps because having a good conclusion lands you a nice lasting impression - try and use funky endings that have a certain ring to them.

How do they fit 7 paragraphs into 1200 words? Do they only have ~100 word introductions and conclusions?

By funky do you mean abstract and unusual? And when you say "lasting impression" would you achieve this by finishing on a rhetorical question or quote, or challenging a widely accepted idea whose contradiction was made plausible by your essay?


Also, how does everyone open their introductions? A quote? Because my tutor recommends to write a decent chunk on the text itself and then gently introduce the topic... Or does a blunt opening, as with a quote, produce a superior effect?

Thanks

[ninwa]

46. He was expecting a 50. I was ranked 1 in a school which usually has a couple of 50s per year. Ouch. Massive blow to self esteem right there. >_>

Not to contradict Ninwa or anything, but teachers at our school (ex-exam markers, at that) have basically "put it out there" that the chances of you scoring 10/10 without a 1000+ word essay aren't so high.  Quality over quantity for sure, but quantity of quality is also important.  When you've got schools that encourage high achieving students to write 1200+ word, 7 paragraph essays, you need that extra edge to stand out.

I would definitely follow this advice before mine! Don't take what I say for gospel because my experience of English was probably rather skewed.
I think the main reasons I got 10 for an 800 word essay were
1) the topic was shit and you couldn't possibly write that much on it, and
2) I have a feeling (in fact I'm about 95% sure) my English teacher played favourites with me.

Pathetic.. And to think you get straight 100s in uni...

dagger through my heart

That's radically different to the way I would structure it (along with all the other robots)...

I'd imagine such a strategy could work very well..
And no one can refute it if your evidence and explanations are good enough >.> Now to abstractify my mind...

Also, with focusing on words such as "maintain". It just seems a little pedantic to me. Would you make a big deal of it? Or would it be just a passing bonus link to the topic?...

It could work very well in that it would stand out from the other essays - remember your examiner will be reading hundreds of essays, most of which would be churning out the same tired old contentions.
Or you could get unlucky and get an old fart traditionalist of an examiner who dislikes your attempt at being intellectual...

It does seem a bit pedantic, looking back on it. I would have devoted maybe one paragraph to it. The reason I pull topics apart and analyse them so deeply is to show the examiner that I have a really good understanding of what the topic is asking me to do. Maybe there's a better way of doing that though (I'll wait for people like shinny to elaborate).

In my limited experience it is often counterproductive to seek elaborate words. Rather it is often much clearer and better for the flow of your essay to write what comes first to mind.

Definitely. Sacrifice eloquence for clarity, ALWAYS.

Also, how does everyone open their introductions? A quote? Because my tutor recommends to write a decent chunk on the text itself and then gently introduce the topic... Or does a blunt opening, as with a quote, produce a superior effect?

All our English teachers recommended not starting your essay with a quote. I can't remember why but I personally think it just doesn't look good... lol. I always started with a short, sharp exposition on the main part of the topic. (e.g. in your example topic, I'd say something about the premise of the text being that the main character is constantly fighting between the different 'hooks' in his life)

[m@tty]

Short meaning one sentence?  So what would your first word be? Something short or familiar, like "Terry Malloy(protagonist) has many 'hooks' blabla bla", or boring, "In Elia Kazan's(director) On the Waterfront"... ?

[ninwa]

I'd probably have something like "On the Waterfront explores the interplay and conflicts between the different hooks" blahblahblah. Or maybe not even mention the word "hooks" until the 2nd sentence since the first one should be short and sharp, and you want to be able to explain the concept of "hooks" sufficiently.