I hand write everything and no way i'm typing it up sorry.
However, VCAA says this is a high scoring response to last year's exam:
An opinion piece, appearing in the online journal ‘Ctrl Alt’, was posted earlier this year on the 23rd of May in response to the
increasing and conflicting debate about the impact of digital technology on our society. The piece is entitled ‘Keyed In’, linking
closely to the subject material and appeal to the ‘digitally savvy’ younger generations who are the target audience for this piece.
An informative and enthusiastic tone is maintained throughout the piece, asserting the benefits of modern technology with
positive connotations.
The outlay of the piece is that of a website, or more precisely a ‘live’ electronic journal, appealing directly to the subject
material on digital technology and complimenting the younger audience, who would be familiar with websites and live journals.
The title of the journal ‘Ctrl Alt’ is visually displayed as computer keys, after their namesake on an ordinary computer key board,
while the title of the actual article us undersized and not interesting or assertive enough to spark much interest in the reader.
However, the accompanying picture of a human head imbedded with computer micro chips makes up for the title’s lack of
appeal, because it visually enhances the main contention of the development of human technology, by associating the unique
power of the human brain to the power of the micro chip.
The author, Voxi, is using an alias so that his or her real identity remains anonymous, which is a common trend on the internet.
Voxi opens the piece by attacking people’s resistance to learn new things, because it ‘tends to polarise people’; in the effort to
persuade the reader into denying that they are one of these people. Voxi describes the people who are ‘challenged by the
discomfort of being dislodged from the know’ with alliteration, placing emphasis upon the ‘d’ sound, in order to emphasise the
denotations of being classified in this group. Voxi then juxtaposes this negative characterisation, with a positive one. Imagery of
people who want to ‘grab the future with both hands’ is energising and evokes excitement in the reader, as opposed to the tired
afore characterisation. Voxi is persuading the reader with appropriate positive and negative connotations to want to be able to
try new ways of doing things and embrace the technological revolution.
There is a tonal shift from excessively energetic to a more informative tendency, while maintaining the same assertiveness. Voxi
uses examples from the Renaissance, the most renowned period in history for the advancement of education, with Copernicus
and Galileo who were renowned for ‘reorganising the cosmos’ and comparing their genius with the power of technology,
appealing to the reader’s sense of admiration for the importance of great historical figures and linking it to a similar admiration
for technology. Voxi uses repetition of the word ‘revolution’ which asserts that digital technology is a fundamental change and
advantage to society, urging the reader to embrace the technological revolution because it is a positive step in the evolution of
mankind. Voxi goes on to address the opposing arguments, ironically expressed in the form of a podcast, and dissects the flaws in
the discrepancies with digital technology. For example, while ‘some fear this will reduce human intelligence’, Voxi asserts the
absurdity of this and uses listing to highlight all the benefits of digital technology, finding cures faster, find ways of preserving
the planet’, appealing to both the readers sense of logical thinking and their humanity in wanting to take advantage of
technology to benefit mankind for the greater good.
Voxi again uses positive and negative characterisations, but now in a more specific way by classifying the ‘older generation’
who ‘just accept and use with enthusiasm’. This appeals to the target audience, who do not want to be associated with their
parents’ generation and are persuaded by Voxi that in using digital technology they can avoid this possibility. Voxi incorporates
rhetoric language, ‘What’s to be afraid of?’ and imagery, ‘zip along the surface like jet skiers’, to further enhance the youthful
connotations of digital technology and appeal to his young audience. The use of familiar internet related trademarks, such as
‘Facebook’ and ‘Google’ gives authority to Voxi, in that he knows what he is talking about, and adds to the colloquial nature of
the piece.
Voxi ends his piece on a positive note, ‘Let’s be excited’, again embracing an enthusiastic and energetic tone which excites his
readers and makes them want to embrace the technology revolution. He uses jargon, ‘loser’ and appeals to the younger
generation’s need to conform to add further persuasion to the piece and advocate digital technology.
Assessor comments
• A thorough discussion, always keeping on track in relation to how language is being used to persuade.
• Covers the breadth of the article but does not become bogged down trying to cover every idea.
• The student includes clever insights into their interpretations.
• Shows a clear understanding of the audience and what Voxi is trying to do.
• Insightful presentation of several visual features and how they contributed to the persuasiveness of the piece.
• Well written using a broad and appropriate vocabulary.
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