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October 31, 2025, 03:50:20 pm

Author Topic: mark my 1984 essay  (Read 1539 times)  Share 

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ameea

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mark my 1984 essay
« on: October 23, 2010, 02:58:51 pm »
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Hello!  :)
I would greatly appreciate any comments on how to improve this essay as I know it's not great. A mark out of ten would also be very helpful :) 


In what ways did the party aim to dehumanise its members? (Nineteen Eighty Four)

In a world dominated by an oppressive, centralized system of government, the humanity of the proletariat is denied to encourage strict regulation of the masses. Nineteen Eighty Four, a dystopian novel written by George Orwell and published in 1949, depicts a harsh world in which thought process is controlled, living standards are animalistic and human relationships are repressed.  For individuals living in Oceania, life is a consistent routine designed to deny any human qualities and remove the characteristics that define humans as separate from animals.


The strict control of thought process achieves the party’s aims to remove all humanity within Oceania through the destruction of language and alteration of history enforced through the Ministries of Truth and Love. Different language imposes different conceptions of reality and by denying individuals of the ability to think for themselves the party effectively restricts communication and independent thought, which is ideal for their totalitarian system of government. Through the work of outer party members such as Syme who works in the Research Department within the Ministry of Truth, the Inner party’s ultimate aim for thought crime to be impossible “because there will be no words in which to express it” will be achieved. The humanity of Oceania’s citizens is compromised by the modification of history engaged by Big Brother. Changing history restricts thought process and reinforces the party’s tyrannical ruling as they can never be questioned, and never proven incorrect. Winston Smith, the main character in Nineteen Eighty Four is responsible for the alteration, or ‘top rectify ‘of news-items and articles for the protection of the party; he effectively destroys any means of challenging Big Brother on events even he knows to be false ’ Oceania had always been at war with Eurasia’. The ability to think, understand and comprehend is an intrincic human quality that is quashed through the destruction of language and adjustment of history,  combined they minimise personal thought and effectivly remove any reason to think .   
 

The poor living standards of Oceania efficiently dehumanise the masses that are forced to coexist in poverty stricken conditions where hunger, disease and filth are ever present. The party's propaganda demands the necessity of food rationing for the good of the nation and its "war efforts" resulting in food scarcity and poor quality of goods that are actively available. For the population of Oceania, the only means of survival is to wear a mask of "quiet optimism", employ doublethink and accept what they are given to survive. The proles who account for eighty five percent of Airstrip One are treated by the Party as animals; they live in squalor and destitution. They are sedated with infinite quantities of cheap beer, extensive pornography, and a national lottery, in an attempt to mask the deprived and hazardous lives they lead – prole areas of the cities for example, are ridden with disease and vermin. The third world conditions that the citizen’s of Oceania are subjected to eradicate any reason to contribute to society or attempt to improve social status; with no knowledge of the possible improvements that could be demanded, the people of Oceania continue to stay at the base level of the hierarchy of needs only living to survive, not prospering to meet their needs and reach their full potential.


Big Brother’s ideology of a perfect and controlled utopia devalues family and the importance of interpersonal relationships.  The Party undermines family structure by manipulating children, brainwashing outer party members and organizing clubs that support their regime. By eliminating loyalty, trust and companionship between individuals Big Brother effectively removes any possibility of a mass rebellion from the middle class members of Oceanic society; with no one to commune with individuals openly share their love with Big Brother and the party, and express their ultimate hatred for all enemies of ‘their’ establishment. The Party’s aim of destroying all relations is successfully accomplished through the manipulation and brainwashing of children. They are inducted into the Junior Spies, a club which persuades and encourages them to spy on their parents and report any instance of disloyalty to the Party; effectively removing any connections between parents and children; a fundamental human quality.  The Party strictly imposes antisexualism upon all members within the Junior Anti-Sex-League and the outer party in an attempt to diminish personal attachments that could sabotage the political control held over Oceania, further removing a human characteristic and suppressing natural instinct. The authoritarian government of Oceania’s aim of worshiping Big Brother in place of forming relationships dehumanizes citizens to a level below that of mere animals.


For individuals living in Oceania, life is controlled and heavily regulated to the point of dehumanization. Through a combination of rigorous thought control, dismal living conditions and the annihilation of all relationships, the oppressive government represented by Big Brother and the Party successfully removes all traits that characterize humans as separate from animals to maintain their aim of a totalitarian society.






ameea

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Re: mark my 1984 essay
« Reply #1 on: October 23, 2010, 03:28:54 pm »
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Brutality is welcome ><

Albeno69

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Re: mark my 1984 essay
« Reply #2 on: October 23, 2010, 03:30:34 pm »
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just looking at your conclusion and introduction they look short, but hey my English is terrible i be lucky to get 35

ChristineNguyen

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Re: mark my 1984 essay
« Reply #3 on: October 23, 2010, 03:36:02 pm »
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i would say 7.5/8 out of 10
it just seems a bit choppy at times

Kotza

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Re: mark my 1984 essay
« Reply #4 on: October 23, 2010, 03:59:23 pm »
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The topic is an unusual one, as it is more of a direct question than one that calls for discussion of rebuttal.
In saying that, you should have listed in what ways the government does this (as you did in the body paragraphs) in the intro. this will enable the examiner to acknowledge what the rest of the essay will consist of.

Para 1: It does flow relatively well, try to weave 1 or 2 word quotes into it so that you may add substance to your piece. Also, when you included your 1st quote, it didnt make sense when you said "will be achieved" at the end of the sentence.
Use metalanguage such as 'protagonist' instead of 'main character.'
It sounds a bit 'cause and effectish'... as in instead of thoroughly discussing what it is you are writing about, you are a bit choppy and abrupt as the girl above said.

Para 2: This one is ok, lacks in depth analysis though. Once again you have merely stated what has happened and its consequential effect.

Para 3: same as above

i think its more about the actual topic itself than your ability to write. It doesnt give you the ability to discuss themes and characters, but merely list the ways in which the government does dehumanise its members.

7/10, perhaps 8

ameea

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Re: mark my 1984 essay
« Reply #5 on: October 23, 2010, 04:15:20 pm »
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Thank you so much for your replies!

I'll try to discuss ideas in more depth and i'll be careful with my choppiness. i really did not like responding to this topic :P