I actually did this essay a while back (April/May I think) so here it is for you.
I didn't get this one marked because I was doing it on steroids (not literally). I felt like writing a lot so I didn't do it in the 1-hour timeframe.
And one last thing, my writing has improved from then... I will post up a language analysis later tonight (once I finish it).
Too young, too soon (Michael Grey, city newspaper)
The recent trend of young people attempting solo voyages around the globe has garnered much debate (taken from background information). An opinion piece, appearing in an Australian newspaper, was published earlier this year in response to this increasing debate. The piece of prose, entitled “Too young, too soon” is written by Michael Grey, who strongly contends that young people are taking “death-defying” risks and parents are to blame for this “modern culture” of “wild adventures”. A compelling and forceful tone is maintained throughout the piece, in order for Grey to successfully communicate to the reader the negative connotations involved with the world’s teenagers’ feats of solo circumnavigation.
Grey’s choices of visual imagery and structure are effective as they help to demonstrate in a logical sequence, the negative impacts of sailing on young people, and the wrongful motives of “adult supporters” in allowing this. The outlay of the opinion piece is that of an ordinary newspaper segment – segregated by paragraphs, which allows for straightforward reading and is visually appeasing to the audience because it looks like it contains substance. The actual title of the article is undersized and is therefore not assertive enough to spark much interest in the reader. However, the accompanying black- and -white photograph of a yacht embedded in the ocean makes up for the title’s lack of appeal. The photograph visually enhances readers as it draws on key aspects of Grey’s arguments. The photograph relates directly to the opinion piece in that it depicts the “emptiness” of the ocean, and the “intense loneliness” involved with youth sailing – encouraging readers to gain a negative impression of both youth sailing and teenagers. Grey’s decision to include only shades of black and white in the photograph is deliberate, as it coerces readers to reminisce and think back to how society used to be, where while black-and-white imagery was prevalent, solo circumnavigation by teenagers was not. The use of black and white also portrays sailing in a negative light – readers are led to associate darkness and gloom with youth sailing, which leaves parents fearing for the teenagers as Grey intends to do. As readers notice that the yacht is alone and solitary, this is juxtaposed with the enormity of the oceans surrounding it – which is a clever inclusion that matches Grey’s arguments that teenagers are “too young” to be fighting such a journey alone. In addition, the sunlight is distant and far-reaching – implying that teenagers’ dreams will not be achieved whilst at sea, due to the mental and physical impacts involved. Therefore, the audience is lured into thinking exactly that. Hence, it is through Grey’s use of visual imagery and structure, that the audience begins to frown upon the young people of today’s society, parents and also the notion of youth sailing.
By targeting young people, Grey’s intended audience categorically involves parents. He implies fear in parents and readers by asserting that these “daredevil acts” have become “alarmingly popular”. In effect, readers are forced to believe that teenagers are only opting to undergo such “reckless acts” due to their hunger to stand out and be adventurous – therefore the audience would make justifications and contrast the young people of today with those of the past. By making reference to common sense and social norms, Grey has the ability to communicate to readers the negativity involved with solo circumnavigation, and instills the fact that he understands social change. By stating that “if a child is too young to vote” and “drink alcohol” they are too young to embark on a yacht, readers are encouraged to draw similarities between these “adult” norms and the “hazardous” paths teenagers are taking. Hence, the audience is persuaded to consider that likewise to voting and drinking alcohol, sailing requires sailors to be of an “adult” age (over 18). Since the audience is made up of parents, the inclusion of matters which are of concern to them is effective in encouraging them to believe that it is dangerous for people to sail if they are “too young” and are undergoing the journey “too soon”. Readers are further rattled by the fact that alongside the immaturity and age factor of youth sailing, there are undermining “physical and mental risks” also involved. Grey goes on to state, using informative facts, that a Dutch court placed a 13 year old under care in order to prevent her from undertaking the voyage in 2009. As the reason for this was physical and mental risks, this implies to the audience the fact that youth sailing truly is becoming a dangerous phenomenon across the world – therefore readers are encouraged to frown upon teenagers and consider their own stance on the situation, because as Grey has stated that this occurred in 2009, the issue is relevant to present society. The writer goes on to make assumptions about normality, creating a sense of bewilderment within the audience. This is achieved by stating that parents are valuing “reckless acts over compassionate behaviour” for their children – which also makes readers think about family values and look down upon those parents. Young people are labeled as “modern children” – a subtle depreciation against them – which encourages the audience to make comparisons between the past, present and future – readers begin to praise the past, regret the present and fear for the future, as Grey intends to cause. Grey then goes on to inform readers of the utter reality of solo circumnavigation, because they are unbeknown to the stark realities, as his authoritative tone suggests. The notion that young sailors experience “lonely successions” and “seemingly endless days” instigates a sense of fear within the readers, as they become worried about the mental impacts on the young sailors. This also implies sympathy for young sailors, in that whilst they are chasing their dreams, they are taking a dangerous and mentally challenging route. However, there is a tonal shift from excessively forceful to a more understanding tone, whilst maintaining the same assertiveness. Grey states that he understands that “brave feats” should be attempted, however, there is an age limit. Thus, readers would gain the impression that Grey has written the article in the best interest of the children of modern society – which leads readers to acknowledge his comments and deem his statements correct. Through this, Grey is able to assert to the audience, the fact that teenagers are not old and mature enough to attempt such a “life endangering activity”, and there are physical and mental risks involved – persuading readers effectively.
Again, Grey opts to use negative characterisationsThank you, to evoke that parents are “needlessly changing their children’s lives” and are “unfit for the responsibility of child raising”. As Grey has written for a parental audience, parents would question their own child-raising abilities and responsibilities. In effect, they would look down upon the decisions and actions of parents who allow their children to partake in such a “daredevil act”. The fact that parents’ chief motive in letting their teenagers take on a solo circumnavigation challenge is for a “brief flash of publicity” is triumphant in implementing a sense of bewilderment and anger. Readers would find it difficult to justify this reason, and would think negatively of those parents. In addition, Grey heightens his stance by inducing immediate concern and urges readers to embrace, but frown upon, the motives of today’s parents. He goes on to give some form of parental advice – stating that parents must recognise the “boundary between challenging activities that develop positive life skills and wild adventures that come with an unjustifiable level of risk”. Once again, this appeals to the target audience and subtlety emphasises Grey’s credibility and highlights his practical elicitation on the issue. Accordingly, readers and parents would consider this boundary and decipher whether sailing adventures are worth the “unjustifiable risk”. This effect is heightened by the fact that, whilst Grey addresses parents and “adult supporters” forcefully and critically, he does so without going to the extent of polarising them. This is displayed when Grey notes that the World Sailing Speed Record Council “appeared to see the error of its ways” and stopped its endorsement of the age record. As a result, readers are presented with parents who have a lack of common sense – hence this enables Grey to encourage parents and readers alike to “see the error of their ways”, as the World Sailing Speed Record Council has, and reconsider their stance on the issue. Once again, Grey makes another understated judgment of Australian parents adopting rhetoric language, asking readers whether Australians “really” have to look overseas to find an example of the “firm moral and practical leadership that is required to care for young people.” In this instance, parents are belittled as they represent said leadership, which in essence persuades the audience to gain a negative perception of Australian parents and deem them to be immoral and impractical parents. Furthermore, the writer, maintaining his confident and matter-of-fact tone, proclaims that parents who allow their children to have “unsupervised freedom” are “unfit” to raise their children. Grey’s suspicion that the abilities of Australian parents in caring for their family is inadequate and poor, would create immediate concern and further enhance his negative connotations of parenting. Once again, Grey decides to illicit bewilderment and outrage within the audience, by informing them of the not so obvious – that “we taxpayers have to foot the bill” to cover for teenagers’ mistakes. By using the inclusive word “we”, Grey alludes to the fact that the rest of society is included and affected, which then encourages readers to frown upon teenagers and parents for making wrongful decisions. Grey then uses rhetoric language, in the form of asking why those in “our society who act responsibly, have to fund the activities of those who do not” – another subtle gesture with negative connotations towards both parents and teenagers, leaving readers unfavourable of their actions. The fact that the “behaviour” needs to stop urges readers to act upon the issue, as it is a slightly exaggeratory statement. In addition to this, as Grey presents that the “authorities must recognise the need for better regulation” puts the issue into perspective and illustrates that the issue is a serious one – as “authorities” need to be called in. Thus, readers’ suspicions that parents are not responsible enough are confirmed, and they are presented as being a major part of the problem. In this way, Grey’s subdued portrayal of parents as people who are “unfit” to care for children and are hungry for publicity, successfully persuades the audience towards his viewpoint, and creates “concern for the wellbeing of children”.
Michael Grey has asserted his views regarding the conflicting debate of youth taking on solo circumnavigation journeys to his respective audience of parents, soundly, through the use of a distinctly forceful and convincing tone. Contending that teenagers are not old enough to take on these “death defying” trips and parents of this modern society are incapable of “child raising”, Grey has effectively conveyed the negative implications of the problem. Hence, the audience is left to consider their perspective, because the opinion piece does not end on a positive note, but instead encourages debate and acts as food for thought – as Grey intended.
Home
Help
Search
Login
