Well I wouldn't know much about actually giving a grade to it (certainly doesn't look like a D to me) but I give some sort of a feedback on it:
- Try and make the aim stand out more. It's certainly not useless; in fact it is very important. Just sticking it down at the bottom doesn't give much emphasis to it, imo.
- For the materials section, try and involve a diagram to go along with that. Probably not on computer. Just a pencil and a ruler would be fine after you printed it out.
- Expand on your experimental method MUCH more. In my write-up, you can see that I placed a large emphasis on describing exactly what I did and why I did it (I got high marks in that regard, but failed at other things :p). You have to outline and give reasons as to why you did such and such.
- Table of values - These pages just hit me like a brick. I've never used this motion sensor equipment so I don't know how easy it is to organize the data you collected, but teachers hate nothing more than disorganized data. It's just a page filled with numbers (with you claiming an extraordinary number of significance as well) that mean very little by itself. It's literally a wall of text/numbers. Try and organize it better (can't give more advice since I haven't done the prac myself).
- As for the graphs you made, use a scatter plot and then trend-line it rather than using a graph that joins the dots and extrapolates for you. As for the meaning of the shape of the graph, I can't really expand since I haven't done the prac.
- Don't apologise for not knowing how to change something on excel. As long as you said which direction the displacement is (which you did), then you don't have to apologise for it. It's perfectly valid, as far as I know.
- Your calculations and interpreting the data seems fine (again, I can't comment on its validity since I haven't done the prac myself). But you haven't really expanded upon the errors associated with the experiment, apart from a line or two. That and the significance of your findings and how it relates to your aim. This is pretty much the bulk and purpose of a write-up and probably the area where you lost the most marks on.