Good excuses for not going to school formal?

[Ghost!]

IMO this thread should have been locked a long time ago, everybody's comments are based on assumptions, and considering the OP hasn't posted since this thread was opened, no good can come from any of this discussion. Not trying to moderate or anything, but yeah.

[LOVEPHYSICS]

Please read my previous posts. I have never participated in the formal.

First off, he did not ask for our opinion or evaluation about the formal, he asked for 'good excuses.' We are not supposed to give our opinions or push him to attend the formal in the first place. That said, positive encouragement for him to go to the formal is great, but they are quite a few posts previously that made unnecessary attacks on his virility and integrity.

Secondly, I don't see the point in putting money aside, just like you have quoted from him, "money is also quite an issue," so the financial part does play a role and reason for him not to participate.  His family may be financial troubled and thus he doesn't wish to place a greater financial burden on them.

Finally, I have never fostered or imposed any negative perceptions of formal on other people, like I have acknowledged, many people find it enjoyable to dress up in a suit and rendezvous. I did not in any way, attempt to reinforce his perception of formals as unappealing.
 
"There is more to lose in not going to a formal during your time in high school , than to go to a formal once. " In the end, that's only a matter of opinion. I have no regrets in not participating in any of those formals. "Clearly, if someone hasn't experienced something, they should experience it before labeling it." With all due respect, that strikes me as a very naive outlook on life, realistically, we don't have the time nor the effort to smell each and every individual roses of the universe. For example, I don't need to experience bungee jumping to know that it would be an unpleasant experience given that I am not comfortable with great heights. Ultimately, it is up to the individual to decide what to pass and what to pursue, and regrets are something that we must tolerate and overcome.

[Water]

@Above Post, I don't want to provoke you or anything. But Bungee Jumping can be done in your entire lifetime. contrary to high school, you only go to high school from 12 - 17 years of age, give or take. High school only happens once. That Formal High school will also only happen once or twice in any person's lifetime. It might end up being a regret, not everyone has the luxury to have 4 formals like yours.




Tbh,like Ghost,  I think this topic should be closed. I think the poster has gotten enough advice, from both sides of the spectrum.

[LOVEPHYSICS]

I do not understand why there should be a spectrum of 2 sides in the first place. We are supposed to help him find 'good excuses,' and not argue about whether the formal is worth-going or whether OP has balls or not. And really, what OP seems to get more out of this thread is not advice; but rather in-your-face attacks and balls bashing comments from unnecessary posts. It's sad really.

[Visionz]

"As long as youre striving towards whatever you want to be then good job man, keep it up.. but if you cant look in the mirror and honestly tell yourself the future youve got planned will bring you success and fulfillment, then youre in a real situation.. " Visonz

I am lost. What does that have to do with anything about OP's formal issue? Are you trying to say that just because OP might be an introvert, he hasn't the balls to look at himself in the mirror and plan for a decent future? Just because someone's more of an introvert doesn't mean that they have no goals, low self-esteem or has no understanding about themselves in general. No, you are not challenging him, you are provoking him, and perhaps preying on the fact that he is unable to defend himself, given your assumption that all introverts are seemingly naive and fearful.

If you read my post as a whole then youll understand exactly what I was saying in that little extract.

Ill lay it out for you though...
OP is socially challenged. He has no legitimate reason not to go to the formal, hence the thread. Hes not being truthful to himself anyway, money is an issue blah blah, when the reason is psychological. Hes ignoring the real reasons. Validation will just reinforce his thinking and we'll see the same shit in the future. (Honestly, this thread is a lie. OP has said his stuff in a way that he hopes we will swallow easily. He hopes we reply the way he has planned in his head - ie. 'just say this, just say that..' then he'll use that acceptance [of his refusal to go] as reason to do the same in the future.. know what I mean? He needs those typical responses so he can quieten that one part of his psyche that knows its restricting him. Eventually that part of your mind shuts off, goes silent, you ignore logic and you cannot see that what youre doing is doing damage)

Im not saying he has to go to the formal now but hopefully it can plant the seed in his head at least (if this is the problem) and maybe he'll work on getting better in these situations sometime in the future. Baby steps.
Its just antisocial behaviour if not a phase, is a vicious cycle. If not tackled head on he could spiral out of control in the future and end up far from where he would really like to be.  

My first formal/AP was a great experience and one of the best nights of my life tbh.

[LOVEPHYSICS]

"@Above Post, I don't want to provoke you or anything. But Bungee Jumping can be done in your entire lifetime. contrary to high school, you only go to high school from 12 - 17 years of age, give or take. High school only happens once. That Formal High school will also only happen once or twice in any person's lifetime. It might end up being a regret, not everyone has the luxury to have 4 formals like yours."

I still don't get why we are evaluating the importance of attending the prom/formal. That's not the point of this thread in the first place. And the bungee jumping analogy is made to explain the flaw in your reasoning of, "Clearly, if someone hasn't experienced something, they should experience it before labeling it." We don't need to assess whether the analogy holds a once-in-a- lifetime importance to deem it as a credible or valid point, because the importance of the event is not in question. I am merely explaining the weakness in your life-philosophy.

I know you are not trying to provoke me Water, and I am fine with such debates, as long as it it healthy and is done in a reasonable way.

[taiga]

You can't expect a thread like this not to invoke a response LOVEPHYSICS; most these people (in a masculine boy's school tone) are pretty surprised as to why one would go out of their way to make an excuse. If there are financial issues; I can understand, but to not want to go because of it "not being your thing" is an actual concern. In all honesty; I think that having a habit of not wanting to attend social events can be rather detrimental in so many different ways; not just for your immediate social "status" as such, but that sort of attitude is more likely than not going to have some negative effect (be it big or small) in the future.

Is there a place for such discussion? Perhaps not in this thread; but the OP has clearly invoked a pretty damn response from a majority of people in asking the question; so you can't say that we can not contribute to this thread unless we give him excuses to not attend.

[Kennybhoy]

I didn't attend he senior social in year 11 and I found myself stuck at home playing tetris and watching YouTube videos of people getting hurt.

Seriously, what would you be doing instead?

[LOVEPHYSICS]

We are responding on a internet community with rules, and if I am not mistaken, one of those rules are to keep to the topic. If comments do go out of topic slightly, it is not of any concern unless it is considerably negative, and in this case, several comments did spiral out of control.

We are not here to judge and condemn anyone, calling someone else 'socially challenged' reiterates my point that many are having a go at him. And given that we have no idea who he is, we can only answer the questions that he specified, and not generalising unhealthy and illogical assumptions, "es not being truthful to himself anyway, money is an issue blah blah, when the reason is psychological. Hes ignoring the real reasons..."

Besides, do you think making face bashing comments on him would make him improve his self-confidence, if he really does has a personal esteem problem?

[burbs]

Just a small thing - The bungee jumping example doesn't seem to fit, and seems a bit odd. A fear of heights is NOT a good thing to have by any means, and actually bungee jumping is a great way of getting over that fear. Anyone who has bungee jumped will tell you how it was an invigorating experience and helped them to get over their fear.
I myself had mild vertigo but one 52m jump put it all in perspective.

However, I realise I am nitpicking and its a bit of an unreasonable thing of me to do.

cool.


In the same way, if this IS a social anxiety thing, what a great way to get over it whilst surrounded by friends in suits.


peace.

[bomb]

If you read my post as a whole then youll understand exactly what I was saying in that little extract.

Ill lay it out for you though...
OP is socially challenged. He has no legitimate reason not to go to the formal, hence the thread. Hes not being truthful to himself anyway, money is an issue blah blah, when the reason is psychological. Hes ignoring the real reasons. Validation will just reinforce his thinking and we'll see the same shit in the future. (Honestly, this thread is a lie. OP has said his stuff in a way that he hopes we will swallow easily. He hopes we reply the way he has planned in his head - ie. 'just say this, just say that..' then he'll use that acceptance [of his refusal to go] as reason to do the same in the future.. know what I mean? He needs those typical responses so he can quieten that one part of his psyche that knows its restricting him. Eventually that part of your mind shuts off, goes silent, you ignore logic and you cannot see that what youre doing is doing damage)

Im not saying he has to go to the formal now but hopefully it can plant the seed in his head at least (if this is the problem) and maybe he'll work on getting better in these situations sometime in the future. Baby steps.
Its just antisocial behaviour if not a phase, is a vicious cycle. If not tackled head on he could spiral out of control in the future and end up far from where he would really like to be.  

My first formal/AP was a great experience and one of the best nights of my life tbh.

Lol you sound like one of them people who do VCE Psych and think not only that they are now qualified to label people as "socially challenged" but also read people's true thoughts through their forum posts.

If, Dr. Phil, you truly believe that it is a "psychological" issue, then you wouldn't mind offering to pay? Seeing as he wouldn't accept your money because he doesn't want to go for other reasons?

Anyway he asked for an excuse, not an evaluation of his life - you're giving him irrelevant pointers (considered a career at Microsoft?).

Back on topic.

O.P, if you don't want to go just say you have family commitments, feel sick, etc. Or you could use the end all, be all of excuses - it's against my religion *Waits for VN Religious Debate XXV*

[Visionz]

Lovephysics your only issue seems to be that half the posts in here dont address the OPs question DIRECTLY. We're not actually his servants. Last time i checked he didnt pay me to do his thinking for him. Thats why ill lay down my thoughts in my own way and he can take from that what he wants. I dont care if he prints it out and and hails it the 3rd testament or if he puts it on 1ply A4 and uses it to wipe his a$$.
OP can use what I said to come to a conclusion on what he should do to address his situation and thats how my posts are relevant.

[Dr.Lecter]

Not participating in this debate but Visionz is 'psychologically' correct but this isn't the place to post damaging information that could lower the self esteem of the OP as stated by LOVEPHYSICS.

On a side note, I hate Physics.

You actually are.

[Water]

If there was a topic that labelled

"A Hot Girl asked me out on a date, please give me excuses on how to avoid her, because "I don't have money and going out dates doesn't appeal to me"


I"m sure, you would have comments that would go away from the topic. Lol



Many people would say

a) Go Out With Her, ITS AN EXPERIENCE
b) YOU CHAMPION!
c) BEAST
d) LET ME TAKE HER



So are you guys who say, give him an excuse, suggest that in this hypothetical situation, we give the guy an advice on how to avoid her.


If it is the latter, then no point in arguing anymore.

[iNerd]

Not participating in this debate but Visionz is 'psychologically' correct but this isn't the place to post damaging information that could lower the self esteem of the OP as stated by LOVEPHYSICS.

On a side note, I hate Physics.

You actually are.

Alright then nitpicker, I'll remove the post. I'm not interested in this argument.