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werdna

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[English] Text responses - Interpreter of Maladies
« on: March 07, 2011, 03:36:38 am »
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SS Aim: 45+
Texts: Interpreter of Maladies and The Old Man Who Read Love Stories
Context: Identity and Belonging
« Last Edit: March 31, 2011, 11:39:53 pm by ninwa »

werdna

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WERDNA'S THREAD - TEXT RESPONSE ESSAY, PLEASE MARK! :P
« Reply #1 on: March 08, 2011, 10:38:52 pm »
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EDITING
« Last Edit: June 18, 2011, 08:47:13 pm by werdna »

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Re: * werdna's thread - text response essay on IOM!
« Reply #2 on: March 09, 2011, 09:02:56 pm »
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Water

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Re: * werdna's thread - text response essay on IOM!
« Reply #3 on: March 09, 2011, 09:07:04 pm »
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Reproduce this in a sac, and I'd give it a 9.5/10 ;x
About Philosophy

When I see a youth thus engaged,—the study appears to me to be in character, and becoming a man of liberal education, and him who neglects philosophy I regard as an inferior man, who will never aspire to anything great or noble. But if I see him continuing the study in later life, and not leaving off, I should like to beat him - Callicle

werdna

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Re: * werdna's thread - text response essay on IOM!
« Reply #4 on: March 09, 2011, 10:57:32 pm »
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Hahhaa seriously though :P

pi

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Re: * WERDNA'S THREAD - text response essay to be marked!
« Reply #5 on: March 10, 2011, 05:47:44 pm »
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You have got a fantastic vocab! I also see no problems with structure (except for it being a bit long).

As I haven't read the text, I can't really give it any mark for content unfortunately, but it definitely can't be dragged down on structure or expression.

werdna

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Re: * WERDNA'S THREAD - text response essay to be marked!
« Reply #6 on: March 10, 2011, 05:59:55 pm »
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Awesome, thanks Rohit! :P


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Re: * WERDNA'S THREAD - text response essay to be marked!
« Reply #7 on: March 10, 2011, 06:49:29 pm »
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Can't mark any more (too many students, too much uni work), but you're overly verbose and come across as a bit pretentious occasionally.  I'm not talking so much about your vocab (big words are generally fine), but more your syntax and your "embellishing" of your prose.  Try and express things as simply as possible (syntactically I mean - again, big words are welcome and even necessary here).  As a secondary note, your piece lacks flow occasionally - reread everything you write.

That said, probably about a 9.
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werdna

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Re: * WERDNA'S THREAD - text response essay to be marked!
« Reply #8 on: March 10, 2011, 08:10:15 pm »
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Awesome, thanks EZ!

onur369

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Re: * WERDNA'S THREAD - text response essay to be marked!
« Reply #9 on: March 10, 2011, 08:29:15 pm »
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Nicely written, easily 9/10.
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brightsky

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Re: WERDNA'S THREAD - text response essay to be marked!
« Reply #10 on: March 13, 2011, 07:15:38 pm »
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First up, I'd say that I do not fully comprehend what the topic's talking about, so ignore, accordingly, any comments on content, etc. if they are completely wrong.


Interpreter of Maladies: Through the short story structure, the use of simplistic language and symbols, Lahiri vividly demonstrates the universal experiences of the Indian culture. Discuss.

Arnold Bennett once said that, “Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts”. The quintessence of this idea is clearly explicated in Jhumpa Lahiri's collection of short stories, Interpreter of Maladies, which explores in great detail, the lives of characters who undergo a number of universal, life-changing experiences as a part of their Indian culture. The protagonists, who are at times drawn aback and discomforted by their quests for optimism amidst their migration troubles, diasporic culture and marital discord, demonstrate that one's cultural values are significant in times of crisis. Lahiri compounds this message to her readers not only through her dynamic characters, but also through her short story structure, her simplistic language and her intricate use of symbolic imagery. Thus, it is through these literary elements that Lahiri strongly evokes to readers Awkward., both the emotional consequences and triumphs that may entail as a direct result of one's cultural journeys.

Lahiri's Interpreter of Maladies is structured, as a whole collection, in such as way as to create a unifying message between all short stories and allow it to read as a moving cycle. The ordering of the short stories is deliberate, and the general composition of the collection allows for balanced interpretations of different views and values. 'A Temporary Matter', for example, has been deliberately placed as the first story in the anthology. Consumed by grief and distanced by their own marital discord, Shoba and Shukumar are forced to communicate to each other as a result of the hour-long blackouts that are occurring over the week. The couple, who had “become experts at avoiding each other” and were “able to talk to each other again” in the dimness, are in stark contrast to Mala and her husband in the final story, 'The Third and Final Continent'. Lahiri carefully mirrors the basic plots of the stories, and structures her work in such as away as to reverse the plot of 'A Temporary Matter' in 'The Third and Final Continent'. While the first story of the cycle is a tale of the death of a son and the plausible destruction of a marriage, the final story provides a tale of the persistence and survival of both the parents' marriage and also of their son. In placing Shoba and Shukumar at the start of the collection, Lahiri subtly instills to readers, the ways in which Mala and her husband could have failed as a couple. Thus, the universal, everyday experiences of marriage are magnified in an Indian context – a context in which acceptance and endurance is necessary to overcome seemingly difficult hurdles. Lahiri structures the ending to 'The Third and Final Continent' in such a way as to provide a beacon of hope for readers, to demonstrate that troubling experiences such as migration and cultural transition, can be overcome with the right mindset. This is demonstrated through the narrator's view that “as ordinary as it all appears”, his achievements are “beyond [his] imagination”, showcasing that every migrant, every person affiliated in some way with the Indian culture, has the opportunity to succeed in whatever cultural experience they wish to partake in. By confronting readers with this purposely-structured text, Lahiri is able to convey the many journeys that typical Indians may face in their lives, including marital problems and transition to another country for a better life. It's very well-written, but I felt that it needs to be more focussed.

In addition to her short story structure, Lahiri deals with complex emotions through simplistic, terse language to reveal the inner psyches of the characters and emphasise their inner conflicts. The smooth, plain and undecorated language in 'Interpreter of Maladies' clearly demonstrates the dear self-deception and infatuation that Mr. Kapasi, a tour guide, has for Mrs. Das, whose family he is touring around the Konarak Temple. When Mr. Kapasi writes his address on a piece of paper, hoping for future contact with Mrs. Das, Lahiri uses simple words and clear verbs You've been repeating these phrases, but haven't really analysed anything in great detail.to convey his trust that he will hear from her again, which parallels with the thematically-important act of translation. He states that he “used to believe that all was right with the world” and that “all of life's mistakes made sense in the end”. The fact that Mrs Das. Might be in touch with him “now filled him with the same belief”, the 'plain' languageAgain repeating, without any deep analysis. expressing his rather complex emotions and his deep sense of displacement in his own marriage back at home. Yet, the plainness and simplicity of Lahiri's language use means that it can extend and branch out to other people partaking in a similar experience of deceit and wrongfulness, because of the superficialityWrong word? but common ground that the descriptions may bring to readers. This sentence needs refining.Thus, the plainspoken but vivid descriptions and characterisations serve to paint a realistic picture of the lives of some IndiansThis is perhaps your first real evaluation of the effects of the simplicity in language.; Indians who are disconnected in their marriages, Indians who do not live life to the full. For the protagonist in 'Mrs. Sen's', the English language fails her when she attempts to integrate into American society. Mrs. Sen, struggling to fit into society and having no real sense of purpose in America, is described by Lahiri as having faltering English when she tries to adapt to a totally new culture. The description that Lahiri provides in relation to Mrs. Sen's driving habits: “her knuckles pale”, “her wrists tremble” and “her English falters”, shows further use of simplicity in her language. These stark, emotive words evoke Mrs. Sen's strong, unabated inability to fuse into American society. These poignant words, in conjunction with the fact that “she was continuously distracted”, serve to suggest that the migrant experience, for Indian expatriates, is difficult and challenging for the most part. Lahiri's stories do not contain many forceful verbs, however, on the rare occasion that they do, they are incredibly powerful, and in the space of only a few words demonstrate the great spiritual consequences that a migrant experience can have on characters such as Mrs. Sen, who are virtually living in emotional exile. Hence, it is through her simplistic but powerful use of language and spare exchanges, that Lahiri is able to assert the evocative nature of universal human experiences in the broader context of Indian culture. I love this last line. That said, this paragraph is a bit rambling, and most of it is just giving examples and description without really elaborating on the rationale behind the author's simplistic choice of language.

Lahiri uses symbolic imagery extensively throughout her stories to intensify the causes and impacts of her Indian characters' actions and decisions. In 'A Temporary Matter', the symbolic elements of lightness and darkness are used to display the growing discomfort between Shoba and Shukumar, who prefer to mask their emotions and feelings, ratherthan to express themselves and deal with their grief together as a traditional couple would. Whilst the hour-long blackouts mean that the couple must partake in enforced darkness, and although it results in an “exchange of confessions” that enables them to talk to each other, the couple do have the opportunity to deal with far more important, less trivial Tautology much?issues, but they choose not to take it up. The juxtaposition between the Bradfords, who are walking towards the library, or rather symbolically, the light, and Shoba and Shukumar, who remain seated on the doorstep, demonstrates that it is out of their own choice, to remain in darkness, contempt and deception. I feel as though symbolic imagery isn't really the crux of your analysis here.This view is further compounded by the fact that “the cosmetics that had seemed superfluous were necessary now”, in order to “define [Shoba] somehow”. Through this, Lahiri alludes to the fact that it is has become almost second nature for Shoba to be hidden behind a mask, the culmination of her deep grief and exacerbating distance between her husband. The fact that she “turned the lights off” at the conclusion of the story further implies that she prefers living her life in darkness, instead of rejuvenating her relationship with Shukumar and bringing it back to the way it used to be. Thus, it is through the symbols of light and dark, that Lahiri is able to express the marital strife that often divides couples, particularly Indian couples, where gender and marriage roles are explicit. In the titular story, 'Interpreter of Maladies', extract of a flim magazine page that Mr. Kapasi writes his address on is a symbol that is evocative ofAwkward. his mild infatuation Oxymoron?and craving for future communication with Mrs. Das. Mr. Kapasi's peculiar experience is displayed through a comparison between the small photo of a hero and a heroine on the paper, and the idealistic picture he has of himself and Mrs. Das in his mind. The fact that he would “possess a picture of the two of them” whilst “eating fried onions under a magenta umbrella”, stored within the pages of his Russian grammar is strikingly reflected in the paper. The “tiny picture of a hero and heroine embracing under a eucalyptus tree” on the paper, surrounded by a small portion of blank space, reveals a peculiarity in Mr. Kapasi's inner psyche. The lack of true love in his own marriage manifests itself into a craving for Mrs. Das, a craving that is of almost a cinematic, filmic quality. The unrealistic nature of his desire for her is demonstrated by the fact that his address is located amidst the text and the photo of the hero and the heroine, which would in his mind, remind her of the time they shared together. However, he soon realises the absurdity of his own behaviour when the paper flutters away, to Mrs. Das's obliviousness. Therefore, it is through these meaningful symbols that the nature and extent of characters' relationships and troubles are revealed, troubles that take place against the backdrop of a culturally-minded environment. Again, not really well-focused, albeit very well written.

Lahiri's expressive stories are reminiscent of the lives of Indians, and people of Indian origin, who are bound by their cultural and foreign heritage in their everyday actions and decisions. The various impacts that one's life choices can have on one's inner psyche and one's connections with other people, are explored through Lahiri's characters who go through a mixture of experiences, ranging from migration to marriage, alienation to assimilation. Yet, it is through her delicate use of a defined short story structure, plain but rich language, as well as symbols, that enable her to communicate the true effects of the universal, expatriate experiences of the Indian culture. Thus, it is clear that the human experience can bring with it many failures but also successes, which is in essence, the universal message that Lahiri intends to convey in Interpreter of Maladies. I'm not really sure this last sentence is really pertinent to the topic, but feel (very) free to disprove me here.

Obviously a really good essay. However, sometimes your paragraphs lack a strong central focus, and sort of just links bits and pieces of the film together in a quasi-analysis. I think, at times, more discussion was necessary, instead of just introducing other examples. In regards to verbosity, I don't think it's too big a problem, but that could just be a result of personal taste. There were times where your prose was a little awkward, but most of the writing is pretty fluent. The most conspicuous example of prolixity might be the paragraph regarding the author's use of plain language, where there were just way too many synonyms that were way too close to each other, giving the impression of superficiality in real analysis.
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werdna

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Re: WERDNA'S THREAD - text response essay to be marked!
« Reply #11 on: March 14, 2011, 07:25:29 pm »
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Wow, thanks for all the corrections brightsky!

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Re: WERDNA'S THREAD - URGENT HELP NEEDED!
« Reply #12 on: March 24, 2011, 06:13:12 pm »
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EDITING
« Last Edit: June 18, 2011, 08:49:07 pm by werdna »

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Re: WERDNA'S THREAD - URGENT HELP NEEDED!
« Reply #13 on: March 24, 2011, 10:16:25 pm »
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In the collection Interpreter of Maladies, silences and actions reveal as much about characters' feelings and intentions as the words they use to communicate with others. Discuss.

Anthony Robbins once said that, “The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives”. Quote is a good idea, however I felt that it doesn't really connect to the prompt... or maybe you don't make the connection clear enough in the following sentences.The essence of this idea is clearly explicated in Jhumpa Lahiri's collection of short stories Interpreter of Maladies, which explores in great detail the lives of characters who undergo a number of universal, life-changing experiences against the backdrop of a demanding Indian culture. In Lahiri's stories, linguistically-created silences and actions act as unfettered means of communication that reveal far more about characters' emotions and intentions than the words they use to converse with others. Characters' feelings and intentions – the intricacies of their human psyche –  are largely conveyed by Lahiri through these indirect, non-verbal modes of communication.  However, in some instances, the spoken word does have the ability to expose as much about people's emotions as the silences they may experience and the actions that they may make. Thus, it is through these communicative practices that Lahiri strongly evokes the significance of healthy relationships and spirited minds in one's quest to overcome the trials and tribulations that life may entail.

Bouts of silence can attribute various aspects of the human condition, ranging from the concealment of a secret to serving as a peacemaker and a centre from which tranquility can be sought. In the case of Lahiri's stories, these silences are far more potent and telling than the words that her characters use to converse with one another. In 'A Temporary Matter', for example, Lahiri explores the detrimental effects that a tragic event can impose on a relationship, as well as the marital discord and prolonged silence that may ensue. For protagonists Shoba and Shukumar, the birth of their stillborn child leaves them emotionally and mentally paralysed due to their damaging mindset that “it (life) was over”. The couple is silenced and hence the tragedy morphs itself into an all-evading force that gradually coerces them to “become experts at avoiding each other”. The self-imposed silence that the couple experiences within their own household demonstrates not only their severe dislocation from one another, but also their true inner feelings of misery and torment that would otherwise be indescribable and unfathomable through words. The hour-long blackouts that occur over the next few days coincide with Shukumar's feelings that he and Shoba “would get through it all somehow”, and corresponds to Shoba's gradual development as an independent self and intention to reveal this fact. In addition to this, it is through the forced communication and candle-lit dinners that Shukumar “[learns] not to mind the silences”; portraying his mounting sense of desperation for Shoba and the extent to which he goes in “trying to amuse her”. Towards the denouement of the short story, Lahiri utilises short, terse sentence structures to denote the protracted silences within the relationship and the consequential blandness and lack of love in the way they interact with each other. The linguistic abruptness in that Shoba “did not thank him or compliment him” and that Shukumar “thought that [Shoba] was about to say something”, serve to convey the minimalistic communication between the couple. It is this lack of communication that soon manifests itself into deep, deceptive revelations that uncover the hidden mystiques of the protagonists' minds. The moments of quiet therefore serve as an indicator of disconnection and emotional exile, rather than peace and tranquility, and evoke the exacerbating separation between the couple in that Shukumar feels that they are getting back on track, and that Shoba intends to leave him. Thus, the emotions and motivations that surround indifference and strife in universal human experiences are more potently explicated through silence, for the extent of the stirring tumults would not be well explained through words.This is a bit of an assumption. The tumult could probably be explained through words, but would be more difficult... or something like that. Just sounds a bit forward in the way you worded "would not be explained well".

People's actions and exertions reveal more about their true self and inner psyche than any words that they communicate. This is due to the fact that actions are a figment of the past and the present, whereas words are only a figment of what is to come, which can be misleading for the most part. In the short story 'Interpreter of Maladies', the characters' actions symbolise their attitudes and inclinations, and as such, readers are exposed to the deep recesses of each of their minds.This is essentially a repetition of your topic sentence... except you add the title of the short story. Didn't feel it was really necessary. 'Interpreter of Maladies', which tells the tale of the Das family touring around the Konarak Temple in India and conversing with their tour guide Mr. Kapasi, lays bare the implications behind everything people do. Narrated in the third-person-objective through the perspective of Mr. Kapasi, the story revolves around Mr. and Mrs. Das, who are “very young” and “[behave] like an older brother and sister, not parents”. When Mr. Das “took a picture of a barefoot man” who was “emaciated”, Lahiri symbolically demonstrates the un-parentlike intentions of Mr. Das. The undernourished man embodies the life of someone living in traditional and poverty-stricken India, Mr. Das's cultural heritage"Mr Das's cultural heritage" fits awkwardly here., yet he fails to converse or show concern for the man. Instead, Mr. Das's feelings of carelessness and impetuousness shine through, and from this action, the reader is able to see the obliviousness and neglect Mr. Das holds towards his own home country, through the symbolic camera that he sees the world through. Whilst Mr. and Mrs. Das have fallen apart in terms of their communication and love for each other, they are united in their absentmindedness and carelessness in both a social and familial context. Mrs. Das, who “[walks] past her children as if they are strangers” and is “lost behind her sunglasses”, lacks concern for her family and possesses no real mother-like qualities. Mrs. Das's cavalier and inattentive attitude to life is accentuated through the spilling of her puffed rice, provoking the monkeys' attack on her son Bobby. Thus, it is through this action that Lahiri demonstrates Mrs. Das's feelings of  oblivion and disregard towards both her children and her husband. Due to the extent of her neglect, only actions would sufficiently reveal her true, inner feelings towards her family, and thus in this instance Think you should only have "thus" or "in this instance" here... both together doesn't flow very well... or maybe you just need a comma :)actions reveal much more than the spoken word. As such, Lahiri demonstrates that characters in familial conflicts and expatriate experiences, such as the ones in these stories, have underlying motivations and feelings that can only be effectively conveyed through actions, as these are far more powerful than words. "any words they spoke." instead of just "words" ... "words" on its own feels too generalised.

Whilst silence and action can reveal more about people's sentiments and objectives in life, in some instances verbal communication can expose just as much. Spoken words and dialogue serve to not only add meaning to an action, but also as a means to either convey true attitudes or deceive others. Mrs. Sen, the namesake in the short story 'Mrs. Sen's', isfeels? culturally displaced as she fails to effectively integrate into American society. She looks after a young boy named Eliot each day afterschool, and tells him of her deep yearning for her life back at home, in India.  As the intricacies of the plot unfold, readers become aware of Mrs. Sen's desperation and longing for her homeland and cultural heritage, as she laments the words, “Everything is there (in India)”. Through these seemingly simple words, Mrs. Sen exposes her true anguish towards her new life in America and consolidates her hunger for her previous life. Mrs. Sen, who represents a figment of traditional Indian women who trail their husbands in the hope for a better future, abides by this principle throughout the duration of the story. She constantly identifies herself as a 'professor's wife', defining herself through her husband's name and higher social status. Through these words, which she utters at key times of crisis, Mrs. Sen only reveals a stark side of her emotional state; instead of possessing an autonomous and self-defined identity in her American culture, she goes back to this status as it is the only aspect that is forcing her to stay in America. Long sentence doesn't read very well.Thus, wretched feelings of despair are further accentuated, however, she does maintain a figment of hope in herself, by constantly referring back to her social status. The theme of displacement is further explored through Mrs. Sen's dialogue, whereby she states that, “Everyone, this people, too much in their world” whilst driving. Mrs. Sen despises driving due to the effects that it has: “her knuckles pale”, “her wrists tremble” and “her English falters”. Thus, it is through the words that Mrs. Sen uses to converse with Eliot that her inner feelings of emotional exile and despair as a result of the migrant experience, are exposed. Through her faltering English, Mrs. Sen succumbs to the pressures of driving, which are also attribute to the harsh pressures of assimilation. As such, verbal communication does reveal as much about Mrs. Sen's feelings as silence and action, as her spoken words are heartfelt and honest. Hence, Lahiri's stories Stories? You only talked about one here.do demonstrate that verbal communication does, in some cases, disclose as much about people's intent and emotions as non-verbal communication, laying bare the impacts that conflicts can have on all parties involved.

Lahiri's stories strongly demonstrate the impact that both verbal and non-verbal communication can have on relationships, a person and a family. In her stories, silences and actions reveal more about characters' sentiments and motivations than the words they use to converse with one another. These methods of non-verbal communication are powerful in their own way; disclosing the hidden mystiques of the subconscious, and exposing the thoughts of people who are either born in India or associated with it, I'd break this sentence up here.and therefore undergo bouts of exile and diaspora in their ordinary lives. Yet, the words that Lahiri's characters use to deal with one another can in some cases reveal much about their feelings and motivations. Thus, it is clear that the human condition can bring with it many experiences, positive and negative, that coerce people to build up feelings and intentions that are restricted by communicative ways. Good finish!

Okay, well that was hard to find corrections!!

This essay is extremely well written. I haven't read the book myself, but I can tell that you know it well and are able to pull apart its ideas. You show extensive vocab and great control of essay structure.

Some sentences are too long and wordy; you make a few generalisations and assumptions also. Aside from that, it was pretty much perfect!!
I'd give it about a 9.5 :)

Oh, and feel free to disagree with anything I've said. These are the things I picked up based on one reading... like I said, it was hard to find improvements...
Good job! :)

werdna

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Re: WERDNA'S THREAD - URGENT HELP NEEDED!
« Reply #14 on: March 24, 2011, 10:33:28 pm »
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Wow, thanks jane1234! Thanks for all the corrections, they were really helpful, I didn't pick up on any of those things so thank you!

Those body paragraphs had to be cut down, originally I discussed two stories in each paragraph, but then had to cut out all the stuff for the second stories, so yeah that's why it says "Lahiri's stories.." - forgot to edit haha.

But you legend, thank you!