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Author Topic: [English] Text response - Ransom  (Read 5012 times)  Share 

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davidle_10

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[English] Text response - Ransom
« on: March 09, 2011, 09:44:49 pm »
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Texts: Ransom and On the Waterfront
Context: Encountering Conflict
Aim: 43+
« Last Edit: March 31, 2011, 11:27:06 pm by ninwa »
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davidle_10

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Re: *** davidle_10's Ransom Text Response Essay (Please Mark)
« Reply #1 on: March 09, 2011, 10:17:21 pm »
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“In order to progress, one must break free from the past.” Discuss

David Malouf’s novel Ransom explores the idea that in great adversity, progression is only limited by the constraints of the past. The characters that are able to escape the past are able to move forward. By encountering new and unique experiences both Achilles and Priam are able to move on from all that they suffer. Priam’s encounter with the goddess Iris opens up new possibilities that are unheard of. On the journey towards Achilles’ camp, he learns from his experiences as a man and not as a king. By agreeing to the ransom, Achilles escapes the rage and anger fuelled by his hatred anger guilt.

Upon encountering Iris, Priam is introduced to the world of chance which opens up his mind to new possibilities including the idea of the ransom. He has always been “open at any moment” to the gods and relies upon them to support or fulfill his needs. However, he no longer feels the Gods can do much in his current situation and therefore relies on the unpredictable nature of chance to solve his problem. It is chance that he relies on and not the past to move on from the death of Hector to erase all the grief he suffers. Without chance, Priam would continue to [wrestle with dark thoughts…lying sleepless]. Priam, “whose whole life has been guided by what is established and conventional, comes up with the idea of the ransom which is “something that has never before been done or thought of…Something new”. He offers a ransom to Achilles which is something unique and has never been accomplished and ultimately, moves on from the past. In doing so, Priam no longer becomes a by stander involving his own fate but instead becomes the dictator of his own destiny.

Priam strips himself of his role as king and learns from his experiences as a man.  During his journey with Somax, Priam takes the “chance to break free of the obligation of being always the hero…to take on the lighter bond of being simply a man. It is this journey that he learns to empathise. Upon listening to the heartbreaking losses of Somax, Priam contemplates whether he regrets the “human occasions” that might have brought his sons “more deeply into his affections and made his relationship with them more warm and particular”.  Somax’s losses make an impact on Priam as his “his own eyes has moistened”. Priam who has always believed “silence not speech, was what was expressive”, now appreciates the [opportunity to sit and listen to others talking]. He has never shown love and affection towards his offspring as Somax has. However, it is this experience that enables him to communicate and empathise with Achilles as a father. Priam disregards his role as king in order to experience what others have to offer so that it may help him succeed in his goal.

Achilles experiences true freedom by learning to control his corrupted emotions. The great warrior is aware that there is a “self consuming rage that drives him”. However awaits “something new and unimaginable” that will “break the spell that is on him”. Achilles’ grief that fuels his anger is disproportionate, involving dishonourable revenge, angering the gods and threatening to create disorder. However, it is the empathetic conversation with Priam that “clears his heart of the smoky poison”. Achilles could have easily disposed Priam his enemy but becomes “subdued”. He does not revert to quick tempered fury. Instead he listens to the old man to experience something that he has never encountered with. It is this new experience that Achilles feels himself cleansed of the corrupting, rage-filled emotions to discover “The true Achilles”. Achilles unveils to us that he is a changed man free from grief and guilt through his remark “Call on me, Priam … and I will come to you”. Having finally discovered his true self and spirit by deciding to take a different path of action other than his past, Achilles is able to escape the restraints of his emotion.

Ultimately, Malouf demonstrates that in order to move forward there is a need to do something other than what is accustomed and what lies in the past. It is new and unique experiences and chance that inspires the protagonist Priam to think beyond what he has always known. Priam learns to understand and associate with others as a man and not as the silent figure of power he once was. Achilles no longer feels the pain and grief he once endured because he has taken an alternative route that has helped him realise the man he truly is.
« Last Edit: March 16, 2011, 08:50:20 pm by davidle_10 »
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burbs

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Re: * davidle_10's Ransom Text Response Essay
« Reply #2 on: March 21, 2011, 09:04:05 pm »
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OK, I have not gone through Ransom at school, nor have i analysed it in depth at all. So I have not gone into too much about your interpretation, though it does need some touching up.

Good luck!

Quote
“In order to progress, one must break free from the past.” Discuss

David Malouf’s novel Ransom Italicise when typing, underline when handwriting explores the idea that in great adversity, progression is only limited by the constraints of the past. hmmm, this could possibly be better worded, but I’ll read on and see how you explain The characters that are able to escape the past are able to move forward. This is very short, should merge with the sentence before for better flow By encountering new and unique experiences both Achilles and Priam are able to move on from all that they suffer. same deal, you should mention briefly what you mean, because im not too sure about your point and am approaching it feeling unsure Priam’s encounter with the goddess Iris opens up new possibilities that are unheard of. this should be mergedOn the journey towards Achilles’ camp, he learns from his experiences as a man and not as a king. By agreeing to the ransom, Achilles escapes the rage and anger fuelled by his hatred anger guilt. This does not flow very well at all, kind of staccato. I think many of these sentences could have been merged and more information given. Other than that, it is ok.

Upon encountering Iris, Priam is introduced to the world of chance which opens up his mind to new possibilities including the idea of the ransom. This is too abrupt, also you should mention CHANCE over ransom. The meeting with Iris, IMO, gives him the idea of chance or better yet, free will and choice. He has always been “open at any moment” to the gods and relies upon them to support or fulfill his needs. However, he no longer feels the Gods can do much in his current situation and therefore relies on the unpredictable nature of chance to solve his problem. oh right you do mention it… nvmIt is chance that he relies on and not the past to move on from the death of Hector to erase all the grief he suffers.I’m confused, who moves on through the past, or at least who ever tries to move on by staying in the past? Without chance, Priam would continue to [wrestle with dark thoughts…lying sleepless] I don’t like the either the [lack of] integration of the quote nor the use of the ellipses. Quotes should be put into the sentence “almost seamlessly” rather than [just put to the side as evidence] Also I feel the quote was not the best one to use. . Priam, “whose whole life has been guided by what is established and conventional,where does this end comes up with the idea of the ransom which is “something that has never before been done or thought of…Something new”I think you are missing the point of this quote a bit. If you want me to clarify just ask. He offers a ransom to Achilles which is something unique and has never been accomplished and ultimately, moves on from the past.close! But just a bit off as well In doing so, Priam no longer becomes a by stander involving his own fate but instead becomes the dictator of his own destiny.this is good, more important.

Priam strips himself of his role as king and learns from his experiences as a man learns from somax.  During his journey with Somax, Priam takes the “chance to break free of the obligation of being always the hero…to take on the lighter bond of being simply a man. where does the quote end It is this journey that he learns to empathise. he learns more important stuff than that Upon listening to the heartbreaking losses of Somax, Priam contemplates whether he regrets the “human occasions” that might have brought his sons “more deeply into his affections and made his relationship with them more warm and particular”. good  Somax’s losses make an impact on Priam as his “his own eyes has moistened” eh, not necessary. Priam who has always believed “silence not speech, was what was expressive”, now appreciates the [opportunity to sit and listen to others talking]. He has never shown love and affection towards his offspring as Somax has. However, it is this experience that enables him to communicate and empathise with Achilles as a father. Priam disregards his role as king in order to experience what others have to offer so that it may help him succeed in his goal. need depth

Achilles experiences true freedom by learning to control his corrupted corrupted?emotions. The great warrior is aware that there is a “self consuming rage that drives him”. However awaitsreread this “something new and unimaginable” that will “break the spell that is on him”. This is almost a direct foreshadowing to Priam.Achilles’ grief that fuels his anger is disproportionate, involving dishonourable revenge, angering the gods and threatening to create disorder. However, it is the empathetic conversation with Priam that “clears his heart of the smoky poison”. Achilles could have easily disposed Priam his enemy but becomes “subdued”. He does not revert to quick tempered fury. Instead he listens to the old man to experience something that he has never encountered with. It is this new experience that Achilles feels himself cleansed of the corrupting, rage-filled emotions to discover “The true Achilles”. Achilles unveils to us that he is a changed man free from grief and guilt through his remark “Call on me, Priam … and I will come to you”. Having finally discovered his true self and spirit by deciding to take a different path of action other than his past, Achilles is able to escape the restraints of his emotion. he listens to Priam because Priam reasons with him as a father, and Achilles mistakes him as a father

Ultimately, Malouf demonstrates that in order to move forward there is a need to do something other than what is accustomed and what lies in the past. good point, I don’t feel this was explicitly investigated It is new and unique experiences and chance that inspires the protagonist Priam to think beyond what he has always known. Priam learns to understand and associate with others as a man and not as the silent figure of power he once was. Achilles no longer feels the pain and grief he once endured because he has taken an alternative route that has helped him realise the man he truly is.

This was decent, but missing a lot. First of all it lacked depth. You just went bam bam bam with points but I would have liked a depth in the analysis. Also your points seemed a bit weak. It seems to me a great example would have been Priam’s backstory of how he almost became a slave etc. Also you need to go into storytelling as a  theme and the links between characters.

I don’t really do marks, I rather just give feedback on areas that I felt were lacking, mainly because I don’t want to give you an incorrect idea of where you are at.

Recommendations: Read the book again, read up on greek mythos too for some backstory.


« Last Edit: April 15, 2011, 07:01:15 pm by burbs »

davidle_10

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Re: * davidle_10's Ransom Text Response Essay
« Reply #3 on: March 22, 2011, 08:22:21 pm »
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Thanks for the feedback!
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2011:English, Chemistry,Physics, Specialist, Further.