[English] "Anna Bligh outperforms Julia Gillard" language analysis

[leona0123]

Definitely not the best essay ever, I didn't even write a conclusion and the second paragraph is way bigger than all the rest! Also, I think I may have been a bit subjective.

The recent floods that have devastated many regions of Australia, particularly Queensland, have placed an enormous pressure on Australian political leaders to step up to the plate and demonstrate to the nation how well they can perform in times of crisis. Prime Minister Julia Gillard has been subject to particularly harsh scrutiny, as many believe that she is not doing an adequate job of leading our country through these difficult times. One such person is Susie O’Brien, who, in her article titled ‘Anna Blight outperforms Julia Gillard in the greatest leadership test of all’, compares the performance of Prime Minister Gillard with that of Queensland Premier Anna Bligh at a recent press conference. In this opinion piece, published in the Herald Sun on January 14th 2011, O’Brien attempts to persuade Australians that Bligh’s actions are proving her to be a better and more compassionate leader than Prime Minister Gillard. O’Brien writes about Bligh in a controlled yet active and encouraging tone, however her tone becomes condemnatory while on the subject of Prime Minister Gillard specifically. The photograph which accompanies the article has been carefully chosen to illustrate O’Brien’s contention and to position the reader to view the two leaders in the same light that she does.

O’Brien uses tonal changes and suitable vocabulary throughout her piece as a way of gaining a positive or negative response from the reader where required. As if the heading is not enough, O’Brien wastes no time in letting the reader know her point of view. She begins her juxtaposition of the two politicians with a short statement describing Bligh’s lack-lustre performance in previous months, demonstrating to the reader that she acknowledges that Bligh has not always been such a strong figure in Australian parliament. However, O’Brien quickly directs the readers’ thoughts towards Bligh’s more desirable attributes, using the alliteration ‘calm, composure and compassion’ to describe the way in which Bligh conducted herself at a recent press conference. These words carry positive connotations and encourage the reader to feel comfortable about accepting the view that Bligh is a good leader. O’Brien’s description of Bligh as having a ‘refreshingly honest approach’ and ‘gritty resolve’ appeals to a younger audience who may be looking for a more ‘cutting-edge’ leader, rather than the traditional, conservative parliamentarian. This first paragraph and description of Bligh carries and active, straight-forward tone without too much emotive language or mentioning of the tragic floods, the inclusion of which may have inhibited O’Brien’s ability to build up an image of Bligh as being a strong and inspirational figure.
After this, O’Brien proceeds to implement an obvious tonal shift as she begins to introduce her thoughts on Prime Minister Gillard. The phrases and vocabulary used are condemnatory and negative, momentarily darkening the mood of the piece. By mentioning the Prime Minister’s uncertainty and implying that she has no real understanding of the affects of the floods, O’Brien in turn creates uncertainty within the reader. The reader may begin to feel uncomfortable with the idea of placing their trust in Prime Minister Gillard and they are prompted to question her abilities as a leader. O’Brien then adopts a tone of mocking as she describes the Prime Minister’s inappropriate actions in Queensland and her ‘woody and unconvincing’ demeanour.        
In her next description of Bligh, O’Brien becomes slightly more emotive in her writing in order to show that, while she demonstrates composure and clear-headedness, Bligh is suffering legitimate emotional distress while dealing with the flood crisis. Mentioning Bligh’s tears and her momentary show of emotions confirms her compassion and strengthens the idea that she is genuine in her efforts to do everything she can. Upon reading this, the reader, particularly if they have been personally affected by the floods, may feel more assured that Bligh’s actions will be very beneficial. In contrast will Prime Minister Gillard, it is evident that Bligh is certain of her role in the disaster and what she must do, which reinforces the readers’ confidence in her abilities.    

The tonal shifts and vocabulary used in O’Brien’s piece emphasise and strengthen the attacks made on Prime Minister Gillard and former Victorian Premier John Brumby. The attack on the Prime Minister aims to denigrate her and strip her of her credibility as a leader, generating an emotional response from the audience. As O’Brien illustrates her as having ‘hit the wrong notes’, ‘made a mistake’ and ‘played little more than catch-up’, they may feel angered and somewhat ashamed that their leader cannot perform adequately. O’Brien also describes John Brumby’s uninspirational role in the Black Saturday bushfires, which acts as another strong contrast to Bligh’s seemingly exceptional performance.

Throughout the piece, O’Brien manages to simplify her arguments and bring this political issue down to a level that can be understood by everyone, even those who know nothing about the two politicians. She makes occasional use of colloquial language, describing some politicians as ‘old-school’ and ‘wannabe Oprahs’, and creates the image of Bligh ‘heading to a hardware store and getting cracking herself’. All of these aspects, as well as O’Brien’s use of inclusive language, help the reader to relate to the article and they are more likely to perceive Bligh as a down-to-earth person who is not so different from them.

Finally, if nothing else, the image of Bligh and the Prime Minister truly illustrates O’Brien’s point of view. In the foreground, Bligh is shown when her ‘emotions slipped’ while addressing the media and the public. Her teary yet determined expression shows her compassion and understanding about the situation at hand, which the audience can relate directly to O’Brien’s words. To the right, behind Bligh, Prime Minister Gillard is omitting an air of what seems to be self-satisfaction and is smiling slightly, showing no empathy whatsoever. The way that depth-of-field has been used in the photograph, causing Prime Minister Gillard to appear unfocused, directs all attention towards Bligh and makes her stand out, both literally and as a leader.        

[DNAngel]

In response to Leona0123's Week 1 February Language Analysis:

The recent floods that have devastated many regions of Australia, particularly Queensland, have placed an enormous pressure on Australian political leaders to step up to the plate'step up to the plate' is a little too colloquial. and demonstrate and have demonstrated to the nation how well they can perform in times of crisis. Prime Minister Julia Gillard has been subject to particularly harsh scrutiny, as many believe that she is not doing an adequate job of leading our country through these difficult times. One such person is Susie O’Brien, who, in her article titled ‘Anna Blight outperforms Julia Gillard in the greatest leadership test of all’, compares the performance of Prime Minister Gillard with that of Queensland Premier Anna Bligh at a recent press conference. In this opinion piece, published in the Herald Sun on January 14th 2011, O’Brien attempts to persuade Australians that Bligh’s actions are proving her to be a better and more compassionate leader than Prime Minister GillardSince you've only referred to a surname, Bligh, you can do the same here for Gillard.. O’Brien writes about Bligh in a controlled yet active and encouraging tone, however her tone becomes condemnatory while on the subject of Prime Minister Gillard specifically. The photograph which accompanies the article has been carefully chosenCan we be really sure that it has been carefully chosen? to illustrate O’Brien’s contentionYou need to tell the readers her contention and to position the reader to view the two leaders in the same light that she doesWhich is?.

O’Brien uses tonal changes and suitableWhat kind of suitable vocabulary? vocabulary throughout her piece as a way of gaining a positive or negative response from the reader where requiredSimply stating a 'positive or negative response' is too general. Again, you need to be more specific.. As if the heading is not enoughAvoid incorporating your opinion into your essay, O’Brien wastes no time in lettingA little lazy with wording here? the reader know her point of view. She begins her juxtaposition of the two politicians with a short statement describing Bligh’s lack-lustre performance in previous months, demonstrating to the reader that she acknowledges that Bligh has not always been such a strong figure in Australian parliament. However, O’Brien quickly directs the readers’ thoughts towards Bligh’s more desirable attributesDesirable attributes such as?, using the alliteration ‘calm, composure and compassion’ to describe the way in which Bligh conducted herself at a recent press conference. These words carry positive connotations and encourage the reader to feel comfortable about accepting the view that Bligh is a good leader. O’Brien’s description of Bligh as having a ‘refreshingly honest approach’ and ‘gritty resolve’ appeals to a younger audience who mayAvoid 'may'. Your words should appear confident to the examiner. be looking for a more ‘cutting-edge’ leader, rather than the traditional, conservative parliamentarian. This first paragraph and description of Bligh carries and active, straight-forward tone without too muchexcessive emotive language or mentioning of the tragic floods, the inclusion of which may have inhibited O’Brien’s ability to build up an image of Bligh as being a strong and inspirational figure. Good
After this, O’Brien proceeds to implement an obviousAvoid assuming that the reader sees your opinion. tonal shift as she begins to introduce her thoughts on Prime Minister Gillard. The phrases and vocabulary used are condemnatory and negative, momentarily darkening the mood of the piece. By mentioning the Prime Minister’s uncertainty and implying that she has no real understanding of the affects of the floods, O’Brien in turn creates uncertainty within the reader. The reader may begin to feel uncomfortable with the idea of placing their trust in Prime Minister Gillard and they are prompted to question her abilities as a leader. O’Brien then adopts a tone of mocking as she describes the Prime Minister’s inappropriate actions in Queensland and her ‘woody and unconvincing’ demeanour.Good       
In her next description of Bligh, O’Brien becomes slightly more emotive in her writing in order to show that, while she demonstrates composure and clear-headedness, Bligh is suffering legitimate emotional distress while dealing with the flood crisis. Mentioning Bligh’s tears and her momentary show of emotions confirms her compassion and strengthens the idea that she is genuine in her efforts to do everything she canA little generic here.. Upon reading this, the reader, particularly if they have been personally affected by the floods, may feel more assured that Bligh’s actions will be very beneficial. In contrast will Prime Minister Gillard, it is evident that Bligh is certain of her role in the disaster and what she must do, which reinforces the readers’ confidence in her abilities.   

The tonal shifts and vocabulary used in O’Brien’s piece emphasise and strengthen the attacks made on Prime Minister Gillard and former Victorian Premier John Brumby. The attack on the Prime Minister aims to denigrate her and strip her of her credibility as a leader, generating an emotional response from the audience. As O’Brien illustrates her as having ‘hit the wrong notes’, ‘made a mistake’ and ‘played little more than catch-up’, they may feel angered and somewhat ashamed that their leader cannot perform adequately. O’Brien also describes John Brumby’s uninspirational role in the Black Saturday bushfires, which acts as another strong contrast to Bligh’s seemingly exceptional performance.

Throughout the piece, O’Brien manages to simplify her arguments and bring this political issue down to a level that can be understood by everyone, even those who know nothing about the two politicians. She makes occasional use of colloquial language, describing some politicians as ‘old-school’ and ‘wannabe Oprahs’, and creates the image of Bligh ‘heading to a hardware store and getting cracking herself’. All of these aspects, as well as O’Brien’s use of inclusive language, help the reader to relate to the article and they are more likely to perceive Bligh as a down-to-earth person who is not so different from them.

Finally, if nothing elseUnnecessary., the image of Bligh and the Prime Minister truly illustrates O’Brien’s point of view. In the foreground, Bligh is shown when her ‘emotions slipped’ while addressing the media and the public. Her teary yet determined expression shows her compassion and understanding about the situation at hand, which the audience can relate directly to O’Brien’s words. To the right, behind Bligh, Prime Minister Gillard is omitting an air of what seems to be self-satisfaction and is smiling slightly, showing no empathy whatsoever. The way that depth-of-field has been used in the photograph, causing Prime Minister Gillard to appear unfocused, directs all attention towards Bligh and makes her stand out, both literally and as a leader.

To be honest, this is a difficult piece to mark. You have identified persuasive techniques and have explained them to an adequate degree. However, you sometimes seemed unsure to the effect that these persuasive devices implied. Also, your expression at times, was too colloquial and generic; more concise words should be considered in future pieces.

Other than that, it was a good, solid essay. I would award this essay a 7.5/10. I see much potential for greatness in you.