Correct my Essay please

[Faraz]

Essay
Even in the hardest of times look both ways an Australian film written by Sarah Watt, shows that happiness is still in sight. She displays this through her main characters that are all going through day to day disasters; lose of a loved one, cancer diagnosis, unwanted child and the father who ignores his wife and kids. These character even though are going through some rough times end up happy one way or another shown in the montage at the end. We start off with Nick and Meryl, Andy and Anna and Phil.

Nick and Meryl meet in the text as two lonely people with nothing to look forward to. Nick is diagnosed for testicle cancer early in the day of their meeting and is extremely worried “so what are my chances?”. Meryl is coming back from her father’s funeral, sees a man get killed by a train and also is tired of her passionless job and life. They both have very common problems which for most of us would mean our darkest most lonely parts of our life’s with very little hope. But their relationship even though rocky at times is what they needed, they provided one another with support which can only be given by someone who cares. And that brought hope and happiness into their life shown in the final montage where it shows that Nick bet his testicle cancer and they both stayed together.

Andy and Anna on the other hand have whole different story, in the beginning of the film its shown to the viewer that they are either dating or are sexual partners. Anna finds out that she is pregnant and confronts Andy about it, Andy being the type of person he his shows no interest in the matter “Now I know”, which causes problems between the two. This unwanted pregnancy changes both of them; Andy struggles with the gilt of being the child’s father, and tries to be a better father by spending more time with his kids from his former wife. Anna struggles to take the upcoming responsibilities of the child and when she does she quits smoking which is quiet a big step for a person who wasn’t ready for a child. They both over take their problems and as shown in the final montage have the child. This child might have been an issue for them both at the beginning but as they say a child brings happiness and that is what occurred in Andy and Anna’s case.

Phil in the film is portrayed as the type of father and husbands you here about or sees on television the kind of man that doesn’t know when his kid’s birthday is or forgets every year his wedding anniversary. The kind of man who rather stay at work, than to come home early and see his family. But this all changes after Nick tells Phil who is his boss that he has testicle cancer. Phil’s way of life changes, after that he spends more time with his family attends his daughter’s birthday quits smoking and becomes a new man. Even thought Phil was not diagnosed with cancer or was the father of an unwanted child he was a man who didn’t enjoy his family the way he should and found his happiness when he understood the important of his kids and wife.

It is correct to state that Look both ways does show that there is a hope for happiness in life even at the worst times of a person’s life.  Achieving happiness is shown with every characters including the ones mentioned in this piece, thought-out the film they all face day to day problems big and small.

[Toothpaste]

Note: I haven't watched Look Both Ways. These are minor corrections, and I hope you don't mind criticism.
Blue: notes/suggestions
Red: corrections

Topic please? It's hard to correct your essay if I don't know whether you're staying on track with the topic or not. I'll take a guess with this one  .

Disjointed start, I reorganised it so it flows a bit more fluently. I'm also going to change it all to past tense, out of preference.
"Look Both Ways", an Australian film written(or directed?) by Sarah Watt, showed that happiness was still in sight even in the hardest times. She displayed this through her main characters that were all going through day-to-day (frequent, sequential) disasters; such as the lost of a loved one, a cancer diagnosis, an unwanted child and the father who ignored his wife and kids children.. Even though these characters were going through some rough times, they ended up happy one way or another shown in the montage at the end. We start off with Nick and Meryl, Andy and Anna and Phil. By the way, listing makes your essay rigid. I have no idea on this film so I can't rearrage the list where you put all the "bad" events.

Nick and Meryl met in the text as two lonely people with nothing in their lives to look forward to. Nick and Meryl met each other in the text as two lonely individuals who led mundane lives. Nick was diagnosed for testicle(prostate ...? use testicular!) cancer during the early days of their meeting and was extremely worried - questioning his survival: “so what are my chances?”. Meryl, lacking passion for her job and tired of her life, was coming back from her father’s funeral when she saw a man get killed by a train.(and how did this certain event impact on her life?) They both had very common problems <fitting examples>which for most of us would mean our darkest most lonely parts of our life’s with very little hope that bothered them into great despair(?). Yet even though their relationship with each other was rocky at times, they were able to provide one another needed support through a caring companionship(?)But their relationship even though rocky at times is what they needed, they provided one another with support which can only be given by someone who cares. And that brought hope and happiness into their life shown in the final montage where it showed that Nick bet his testicular cancer and they both stayed together.

(NOTE; I have not corrected this paragraph.)
Andy and Anna on the other hand have whole different story, in the beginning of the film its shown to the viewer that they are either dating or are sexual partners. Anna finds out that she is pregnant and confronts Andy about it, Andy being the type of person he his shows no interest in the matter “Now I know”, which causes problems between the two. This unwanted pregnancy changes both of them; Andy struggles with the gilt of being the child’s father, and tries to be a better father by spending more time with his kids from his former wife. Anna struggles to take the upcoming responsibilities of the child and when she does she quits smoking which is quiet a big step for a person who wasn’t ready for a child. They both over take their problems and as shown in the final montage have the child. This child might have been an issue for them both at the beginning but as they say a child brings happiness and that is what occurred in Andy and Anna’s case.

Phil was portrayed as the type of father and husband you here hear about or sees see on television (Okay, but how? What did Watt do to show this? How does this relate to your topic?) . He was the kind of man that who didn’t know when his kid’s son's or daughter's? "kid" is colloquial. birthday was and he forgot the date of his own wedding anniversary. The kind of man who He would rather stay at work than to come home early and see his family, but this all changed after Nick tells Phil who is his boss that he had testicle testicular cancer. Phil’s way of life changes(Unecessary. You said this twice.), He spent more time with his family, attended his daughter’s birthday, quit smoking and became a new man. Even thought though Phil was not diagnosed with cancer or was the father of an unwanted child he was a man who didn’t enjoy his family the way he should and found his happiness when he understood the important importance of his kidswife and children. and wife. (I can see you're trying to link this paragraph with your previous ones, which is good, but it's not very coherent.) Even though Phil's troubles were minor in comparison with <character> and <character>, he still went through the struggles to regain happiness in his once unfullfilling life. He was able to strengthen the bonds between him and his wife and children by balancing their needs with his own. *shrugs*

It is correct to state that "Look both Ways" does show that there is a hope for happiness in life even at the worst times of a person’s life. Achieving happiness is shown with every characters including the ones mentioned in this piece, throughout thought-out the film as they all faced day to day varying degrees of problems - big and small.
Sample conclusion (with no knowledge of the text/topic ... so take it with a pinch of salt):
"Look Both Ways" portrayed people lost in their sorrows, yet contrastingly emphasised that there was always hope for them to possibly lead more enjoyable lives. Watt highlighted the worst events that impacted on her characters to stress that reality can be assuaged with optimism. Throughout the film, they collectively faced varying degrees of problems - big and small. It was shown that no matter how harsh the situation they all managed to reinvent a new perspective towards it. Through careful decisions and increasingly positive attitudes, happiness prevailed.

Criticism and stuff:
Instead of overusing "show", I'd suggest you experiment with other synonyms eg; portray, illustrate, demonstrate...
"Happy", "Happiness" ... can also be replaced with other words (joy, pleasure...)
Insufficient evidence. I think you may need to link more quotes and explain them in relation to your topic.
Needs more metalanguage (a new criteria in this revamped English course).
Avoid 'slang' : kids.
Work on your sentence structure.
Avoid summarising the story.
Expand on your ideas. What is the director trying to tell us? ... themes? symbolism?... all that jazz.

Hope I helped a bit. (Really needed the topic though). Keep practicing

[Noblesse]

How about writing a "surprise/unexpected pregnancy" rather than an "unwanted child"?

[Faraz]

oohhhh very sorry I forgot to put the topic. In case you would like to know it was

Look both ways shows that despite life’s trails, happiness is possible.

and thanks for correcting I dont mind criticism at all....

haha I know my english sucks

[Faraz]

dude that's the best damn correction I have ever had my teacher can't even compare, I love you!!! haha nnahh Ill try harder and Ill take all the stuff you said In. I dunno If I should rewrite the essay or start with a new topic and try to take you pointers into action...