Conflict with Friend

[misskaraleah]

Hey,

Has anyone had any major friend fallouts in year 12? Because im pretty much going through one at the moment and i need a way to cope with it.

At first, i thought, i would get over it and push it to one side, but now its starting to interfere with my performance at school.


It all started at the start of the year, when i told my friend of 13 years that i was going to be studying a lot this year and if she felt i was desrting her for study, i wasnt, it was just because i was focused. She agreed with what i said and when we started school, was alright with it until she became a little jealous of how determined i was to do well.

Now, she is attempting (well kinda suceeding) at distracting me at school with just petty little issues like getting a higher score on a SAC etc.

I know this is really immature, and i realise that. Yet i dont see why im so cut over her 'doing better' than me at SAC and school in general. Like, its year 12, i should be focused on my own work and nobdoy elses and everyone is entitled to doing their best.

Does anyone have any solutions to overcome something silly as this, before it erupts into something more distracting, or has been through a smilar situation???

Thanks it would be greatly appreciated.

[droodles]

no offence but your friend sounds annoying and immature, give her a smack or something. But then again why are you giving her the attention? It gets to you because you give her attention, just ignore her

[jsimmo]

She could be lying about her SAC mark to make you feel bad, focus on your own work and noone elses.

[beezy4eva]

I know this is really immature, and i realise that. Yet i dont see why im so cut over her 'doing better' than me at SAC and school in general. Like, its year 12, i should be focused on my own work and nobdoy elses and everyone is entitled to doing their best.

Your just a normal female. We tend to get jealous a lot.

If I were you, I would probably either ignore her or I'd try and make the most of having competitiveness between friends to motivate myself to do better.

[midas_touch]

Pretty much answered your own question there. You really shouldn't be too fussed if she is doing better on SACs, whats important is how you go and how you feel about that marks you are getting. If anything, I'd just use the fact that your friend is getting 'better marks' (she could be just BSing to get you riled up, but I could simply be wrong) as added motivation to do even better.

[enwiabe]

Moderator Action: Deleted all troll posts.

Post is unlocked. The next person who trolls this thread will be the beneficiary of a rather generous ban.

[enwiabe]

I'd also like to point out, here, for future reference. I just got a karma lowering from clinton_09:

clinton_09 (+2/-0) enwiabe (+19/-50031) - ruining fun

I don't care about the karma. I do care, however, about the message behind it. Misskaraleah came onto this forum seeking advice, and all she got was trolling and her problem being trivialised. That is not fun, that is demeaning. I honestly expect more from this community.

[Collin Li]

I agree with enwiabe on this 100% in this case. This was a hi-jacking of an emotionally sensitive thread.

[misskaraleah]

Thanks for the advice Fyrefly. I understand where your coming from you you say i need to defuse the situation, not ignore it. But honestly, if she were such a good friend, she would have undertsood what i meant when i said i was going to be studying a bit more than usual. At no time did i neglect her, she in a way, neglected me and then the bitching began. Arent friends supposed to be supportive and encouraging when their friend does well? Honestly, i dont feel that being friends with her are working through it would be beneficial on my behalf, as this just shows that she isnt a very good friend.

But your advice was great. I just think its different for different people.

[cathtacular]

Honestly, i dont feel that being friends with her are working through it would be beneficial on my behalf, as this just shows that she isnt a very good friend.

if you think that focusing on vce is more beneficial then go ahead because if she wants to do well (which it sounds like she does) then she will eventually understand and you can work through it together later. you two are probably going to need each other throughout this year (i know i need people around me when i get stressed and emotional about school and homework) and if your friendship has lasted 13 years then you will both easily be able to go to each other for comfort. thats when things will get better, when she realizes that you need each other to succeed this year... and as beezy said your a girl, its only natural for us to be like this.  im kind of blabbing on a bit but i hope that helps

p.s i love the "lets see if the Cranbourne public school girl can do it" lol i went to Pakenham...

[misskaraleah]

You went to Packenham, lucky you got out. 

[Fyrefly]

Thanks for the advice Fyrefly. I understand where your coming from you you say i need to defuse the situation, not ignore it. But honestly, if she were such a good friend, she would have undertsood what i meant when i said i was going to be studying a bit more than usual. At no time did i neglect her, she in a way, neglected me and then the bitching began. Arent friends supposed to be supportive and encouraging when their friend does well? Honestly, i dont feel that being friends with her are working through it would be beneficial on my behalf, as this just shows that she isnt a very good friend.

But your advice was great. I just think its different for different people.

Fair enuf. Keep us updated please, I'm interested in knowing how it works out for u


Sidenote: Is "Cranbourne" intentionally misspelt in your sig?

[misskaraleah]

whoops typo! But i guess it works out funny for both reasons!

Sure i'll keep you posted.

[excal]

If your friend isn't being a friend, then why be a friend at all?

I know it's hard to come to terms to, but if your friend isn't really acting like one - then why should you even bother. It does really boil down to what's more important, your studies or a person who doesn't seem to be acting like a friend.

Of course, you should let your friend know that this is the way you're feeling about your friend before flicking any hypothetical switch. That's only fair for them.

[Collin Li]

It's important to recognise that people have emotional cycles and to allow for flexibility.