Do you like me now?

[paulsterio]

LOL! I always laugh a little at "the one" business. This is cause I've found that there have been more than one person I have called "the one" in my life, maybe none of them are "the one" :\ - this is getting too philosophical

Thanks for your input Mech, you're always offering a good philosophical view

However, the problem occurs when one uses the other under a false pretence. For example, if the boy alludes to the girl he is romantically interested when really he just wants a sexual relationship or vice versa (yes, it happens).

The fact that this happens is quite saddenning, the fact that it actually happens quite regularly, actually makes me understand why some girls are so reserved when it comes to guys


-----


In regards to the sexual relationships stuff, I don't see it as a problem. Just make it clear what your intentions are, as in, are you a boyfriend or fuck-buddy (friends with benefits).


Honestly though, sex in relationships...it destroys the whole meaning and fun of high school relationships, it's too serious

[Stick]

I don't think all this philosophy was really being thought about when this video was made.

[Mech]

Thanks for your input Mech, you're always offering a good philosophical view

I am not sure how philosophical it is, just a different one. You are most welcome. Sorry if I come off abrasive, I just tend to put my ideas in a straightforward manner.

The fact that this happens is quite saddenning, the fact that it actually happens quite regularly, actually makes me understand why some girls are so reserved when it comes to guys

Unfortunately, this is the case. But, some guys are very guarded also.

I don't think all this philosophy was really being thought about when this video was made.

Lol, probably not, but this is a discussion related to the issues brought up in the video. I always treat the sources on this forum as a prompt.

[paulsterio]

Can someone do a language analysis on the video? LOOOOOL!

anyways, mech, you're right, people become guarded in general due to others :\ sad truth

[paulsterio]

i just realised how different life would be if we trusted eachother, we would never need to second guess anyone, we wouldn't have a need for locks, we wouldn't have a need for courts, or for jails, we wouldn't need to have security devices at shopping centres...etc.

[Mariammm]

Makes sense.... I'm sure that people aren't made with a 'soulmate' but what I mean is that you have to be sure- absolutely sure about the person. You have to know that person inside out, have overcome obstacles with them, met their friends and family, argued together, laughed together and made a commitment to one another BEFORE the sexual element is part of the relationship - this could take months, maybe years... But I've seen so many people swap these things around or intertwine them and thats when it can be dangerous because you dont even REALLY know the person you are giving yourself away to or if you are going to stay together - for some people this is ok and they dont mind experimenting with different people in various relationships...But idunno ... I would just feel like second - hand material if I did that

Well, I would not agree entirely with regards to when sexual trysts should be on the agenda. It is up the individual and their view of sex in the relationship. Some people do not view sex as giving oneself away; it is simply a pleasurable experience between two sexually attracted people. However reckless you may view that, I think it is up to the person individually to come to terms with their view of sex. Some, like yourself, see it as a component that exists in a committed relationship and not a casual thing. That is perfectly fine, and probably the most traditionally admirable. I do not understand this mentality of having someone being being "used" or "second hand". Virginity is only given any high status because it has been epitomised as representative as chastity in the major monotheistic faiths. These faiths are central to most of our ethical views, traditionally speaking. Personally, the existence of a hymen or perforated hymen is a non-issue to me. If you feel strongly for someone, you feel strongly for someone.

Sure, thats why I said for some people its ok because its just another pleasurable act - I regard it differently as I have already explained nd understand its a very personal thing
As for virginity, its just a layer of skin and is not what defines purity
I have girls in my class that have done everything you can think of except the actual 'deed' and walk around proud to be 'virgins'. Thats absolute BS
If I was going according to religion than does this mean that a girl who was raped is no longer 'pure' - No I don't believe in that
What I meant by 'used' or 'second hand' is that if every guy who I shared some sort of mutual interest with in the past or in the years to come shared some sort of 'experience' with me - whether it even just be just a kiss ... Then, i wouldnt feel good - I would just feel easy and cheap - honesty, if he wants it hes gotta work for it
And I disagree about the just pleasure part because I'm more than just an animal, my mind and emotions are more sophisticated and of higher priority. I need to fulfill my emotional needs before my physical ones and exrercise some kind of self-control
*just realised I said  'just' too many times

[paulsterio]

LOL, Mariammm, I think like you, that's why I like the cuter things in a relationship - movies, chilling on play equipment at parks, walking down a beach holding hands, finding "your place" somewhere and hanging out, eating together, sighs - you know what I mean

IDK! I JUST LIKE CUTENESS :\

[Phy124]

I'm just in it for the mad roots.

(jk)

[Stick]

A crazy girl has just matched together two very compatible people (Paul and Mariam).

I TAKE CREDIT FOR THIS!

[Mariammm]

A crazy girl has just matched together two very compatible people (Paul and Mariam).

I TAKE CREDIT FOR THIS!

I think I'm a little young Stick....

[Mech]

why I said for some people its ok because its just another pleasurable act - I regard it differently as I have already explained nd understand its a very personal thing
As for virginity, its just a layer of skin and is not what defines purity
I have girls in my class that have done everything you can think of except the actual 'deed' and walk around proud to be 'virgins'. Thats absolute BS
If I was going according to religion than does this mean that a girl who was raped is no longer 'pure' - No I don't believe in that
What I meant by 'used' or 'second hand' is that if every guy who I shared some sort of mutual interest with in the past or in the years to come shared some sort of 'experience' with me - whether it even just be just a kiss ... Then, i wouldnt feel good - I would just feel easy and cheap - honesty, if he wants it hes gotta work for it
And I disagree about the just pleasure part because I'm more than just an animal, my mind and emotions are more sophisticated and of higher priority. I need to fulfill my emotional needs before my physical ones and exrevise some kind of self-control

Well, some people are actually so callous as to accuse rape victims - and by this I mean rape as in coerced and not just recanting consent retrospectively - responsible for their rape. It is quite shocking, but it happens amongst some very maladjusted sorts. I am not trying to argue with you, just so you know. I am just batting around ideas, so to speak. Do not take this as an attack on you or me telling you that you are wrong - I do not have a firm view myself on it all yet.

I would view such girls who are vaginal virgins, as still promiscuous and maybe be wary of them and what they want from me if I am ever offered the opportunity of something like a relationship or a relationship. I know girls who are not like that; they are like you and believe that you have to be committed and want something of the higher order emotions. I respect that and it is preferable to me as I agree with that attitude towards sex in general. But, we are just animals; horny little buggers that contemplate with our genitalia at times and wish to plant our seeds and preferably in a secure and loving family situation. These strong emotions are needed to hold a family together, methinks.

Incubate your loins in a loving woman, I say. One you can sit down and have a conversation with over some nice jazz music, a glass of red and talk about philosophy... Maybe I am dreaming about 'the one"

[Mariammm]

^^ deep down, we all want that Mech...
I know we're not arguing, we are discussing ...
I prefer to think with my head not... Anyway, don't forget you're speaking to someone who is as inexperienced as they get and hasn't even comprehended the whole concept just yet. So, we are not going to understand eachother fully. I've never even been in a relationship, so I have a lot to learn. I'm just letting everything come in its due place, theres no rush

[Mech]

^^ deep down, we all want that Mech...
I know we're not arguing, we are discussing ...
I get prefer to think with my head not... Anyway, don't forget you're speaking to someone who is as inexperienced as they get and hasn't even comprehended the whole concept just yet. So, we are not going to understand eachother fully. I've never even been in a relationship, so I have a lot to learn still. I'm just letting everything come in its due place, theres no rush

Jazz, red wine and philosophy? If that is the case, why have not I got a sexy minx of girlfriend? Yes, that is probably good; your genitals have less capacity for complex thoughts than your brain (I know, it shocked me, too). Do not rush, as you said, everything will happen in its due course and, trust me, high school relationships are some of the sappiest and unsatisfactory things I have ever indulged in. It is almost like eating lobster. It is just so overrated.

EDIT: Mod just gave me a friendly reminder not to go too Off Topic, so I am pulling the reigns in and saying you can PM me or make a new thread if you would like. Tis been an interesting discussion. 

[Mariammm]

^^ deep down, we all want that Mech...
I know we're not arguing, we are discussing ...
I get prefer to think with my head not... Anyway, don't forget you're speaking to someone who is as inexperienced as they get and hasn't even comprehended the whole concept just yet. So, we are not going to understand eachother fully. I've never even been in a relationship, so I have a lot to learn still. I'm just letting everything come in its due place, theres no rush

Jazz, red wine and philosophy?

Yes but I would prefer hip hop and OJ
You know what I mean... That special something with that special someone
Lol eating lobster - I like that comparison..

[Mech]

I was too slow with my edit!

EDIT: Mod just gave me a friendly reminder not to go too Off Topic, so I am pulling the reigns in and saying you can PM me or make a new thread if you would like. Tis been an interesting discussion. 

I think our conversation came to a natural closure though; lobster tends to do that.