Parent got diagnosed with terminal cancer - continue to YR 12 exams or quit?

[betruetoyou22]

i've worked SOOOO HARD THIS YEAR and have got straight A's on sacs & mid year exam. about 5 weaks ago i found out a parent's cancer is terminal, we don't know for how long they may live. In your opinion should i continue and do my exams (even though i'm pretty frightened and distressed) or take some time off to spend time with him/her and take some time off for myself to digest the idea?
What's your opinion peeps? only two weeks to go? take the derivative or do exams (i don't even know if i'll get accepted for a dev)

[ninwa]

Definitely apply for a derived examination score ASAP: http://www.vcaa.vic.edu.au/Pages/vce/exams/specialprovision/derivedexam.aspx

Submitting your application

Students who believe they are eligible for a Derived Examination Score should first seek advice from their school. The primary responsibility for submitting a correctly completed application form rests with the student.

If circumstances are of an exceptionally private and sensitive nature, students may apply directly to the VCAA. Students will still be required to provide evidence in support of their application

If you don't feel comfortable talking to your school about this then apply straight to VCAA. It says you can get forms from your VCE coordinator only so I would email them directly and ask how you can proceed from this point.

You are under more than enough stress and emotional turmoil right now without having to think about exams as well. Please take some time off for yourself.

[betruetoyou22]

thankyou SOOO much for that link, i never even knew i could apply myself. i truly don't know what to do anymore. do you personally think i should continue?? what would be the pros and cons??

[spectroscopy]

there are alternate routes to post - high school education for those who want a course badly enough, you only have 1 mum and dad

just my 2 cents

but deffs see if you can get a derived exam or work something out, as mentioned above ^

[Yendall]

Definitely apply for a derived examination score, you don't need that stress at this point in your life. I'm really sorry to hear that such a terrible thing has struck you and your family.

[Lasercookie]

This is a really difficult question. I can't really tell you what to do - nor do I really want to - ultimately this is something that's going to affect you, not me. We could provide you with reasons for either option, and in terms of pros/cons you'd probably find that either choice is just as good as the other.

I can't picture what it'd be like to be in your situation, but I think it's probably best to go with gut instinct and do what you feel is best.

You can still apply for a derived score and sit exams if you want - they'll use the score that's better. You don't have to feel forced to sit exams either you have the derived scores as your safety net. They're only a small part of life.

If you can, I would find someone to sit down and talk to too.

[betruetoyou22]

Definitely apply for a derived examination score ASAP: http://www.vcaa.vic.edu.au/Pages/vce/exams/specialprovision/derivedexam.aspx

Submitting your application

Students who believe they are eligible for a Derived Examination Score should first seek advice from their school. The primary responsibility for submitting a correctly completed application form rests with the student.

If circumstances are of an exceptionally private and sensitive nature, students may apply directly to the VCAA. Students will still be required to provide evidence in support of their application

If you don't feel comfortable talking to your school about this then apply straight to VCAA. It says you can get forms from your VCE coordinator only so I would email them directly and ask how you can proceed from this point.

You are under more than enough stress and emotional turmoil right now without having to think about exams as well. Please take some time off for yourself.

do you know where i can access the application form through vcaa - it didn't seem to be anywhere on the website.

[ninwa]

thankyou SOOO much for that link, i never even knew i could apply myself. i truly don't know what to do anymore. do you personally think i should continue?? what would be the pros and cons??

I can only deal in hypotheticals as I don't have any experience with this sort of thing.

I guess it depends on your personality. Are you good at filtering out distractions? Do you think you'd be able to study without thoughts of your parent intruding all the time? If so, having exams to study for may be a good way of maintaining some degree of emotional and mental stability. You cannot, and shouldn't expect to, spend 24/7 with your parent.

On the other hand, if you don't think you'll be able to do that (and there's nothing wrong with that - I wouldn't be able to focus in your place) then you should consider applying for a derived score. Otherwise, you risk not only getting a lower exam score than you deserved, but you may also end up beating yourself up after your parent passes about "not spending enough time with him/her" (which is NOT TRUE and NOBODY will begrudge you for doing other things, but I'm just saying that emotions can be irrational).

It also depends (and I apologise in advance because I don't know how to approach this without sounding insensitive) on the stage your parent's cancer is at. If there is a chance that they will be at the stage where they'll be unconscious for most of the day, then studying at their bedside may be a good way of passing the time while still being in their presence - spending time with them. Again though, remember that hospitals are not the best study places.

I can't make your decision for you because I don't know you at all. If I were in your place I would apply for a derived score, BUT that's because I know that I would have trouble focusing on studies with this kind of thing hanging over my head. You might be totally different.

[pi]

do you know where i can access the application form through vcaa - it didn't seem to be anywhere on the website.

You need to get in touch with your school VCE coordinator, they should have the form in hard-copy.

I'm really sorry to hear about your situation though

[brenden]

I agree with laseredd on this one.
Definitely apply for a derived score -> remember, you can still sit exams if you so choose.
I'm hesitant to tell you what I would do in your situation [how I usually give people advice] because in reality, no one knows what they would do if they were in your situation. Would certainly be worth talking it out with someone you trust and respect a lot.

-that being said, I would +vote ninwa's last post.

[Lasercookie]

do you know where i can access the application form through vcaa - it didn't seem to be anywhere on the website.

I don't believe that they have the forms on the website. You can get them through your school. If you want to skip going through your school, I would call up VCAA directly and see what they say. They have contact details here: http://www.vcaa.vic.edu.au/Pages/contactus.aspx

You might find that your school will be quite supportive, but that's something that you'd know better yourself.

The forms used to be at the back of the VCE handbook in previous years, but know it just states that they're available through VASS (the VCAA computer system that schools access) http://www.vcaa.vic.edu.au/pages/schooladmin/handbook/2012/index.aspx
Section 11 has some general information about derived scores though, so you might want to read the handbook anyway.

[ninwa]

do you know where i can access the application form through vcaa - it didn't seem to be anywhere on the website.

I've been looking for it and I can't find it either.

All I found was this, which gives you a bit more information about the whole process but doesn't have the actual form http://www.vcaa.vic.edu.au/Documents/bulletin/04OCTLI1.pdf

According to Page 17 of this document:

Completing the DES application
Students who believe they are eligible for a DES should first seek advice from their school. Forms are available from VCE coordinators.
Specific details on how to complete each section of the DES application are provided on the form.
It is very important to read and follow these instructions carefully. Submitting an incomplete application may jeopardise the chances of the application being approved.

Submitting your application
The primary responsibility for submitting a correctly completed application form rests with the student.
Students should submit their application to their home school principal. The principal will consider the application and make a recommendation to the VCAA at his or her discretion.
The VCAA reserves the right to contact the school when statements involving the school need to be verified.

Are you not comfortable speaking to your school about this?

If so, I would suggest that you call VCAA or send them an email (preferably call as you'll get an immediate response that way, and emails occasionally may be lost) and ask about what you should do if you don't want to tell your school about your personal circumstances. The contact details can be found here: http://www.vcaa.vic.edu.au/Pages/contactus.aspx

[betruetoyou22]

do you know where i can access the application form through vcaa - it didn't seem to be anywhere on the website.

I've been looking for it and I can't find it either.

All I found was this, which gives you a bit more information about the whole process but doesn't have the actual form http://www.vcaa.vic.edu.au/Documents/bulletin/04OCTLI1.pdf

According to Page 17 of this document:

Completing the DES application
Students who believe they are eligible for a DES should first seek advice from their school. Forms are available from VCE coordinators.
Specific details on how to complete each section of the DES application are provided on the form.
It is very important to read and follow these instructions carefully. Submitting an incomplete application may jeopardise the chances of the application being approved.

Submitting your application
The primary responsibility for submitting a correctly completed application form rests with the student.
Students should submit their application to their home school principal. The principal will consider the application and make a recommendation to the VCAA at his or her discretion.
The VCAA reserves the right to contact the school when statements involving the school need to be verified.

Are you not comfortable speaking to your school about this?

If so, I would suggest that you call VCAA or send them an email (preferably call as you'll get an immediate response that way, and emails occasionally may be lost) and ask about what you should do if you don't want to tell your school about your personal circumstances. The contact details can be found here: http://www.vcaa.vic.edu.au/Pages/contactus.aspx

i honestly couldn't thankyou enough for your support <3 the thing is i told my coordinator about the situation and she was completely calm about it. in my opinion she didn't want to panick in front of me. she told me that no matter what she wanted me to sit my exams because she believes that i am capable of doing extremely well. i'm usually strong about things like this - but on the weekend he had a breakdown in front of me because of steroids that he was taking and that just broke me - and i've kinda been down ever since. he's in paliative care and i still haven't visited him since the incident - and school is very stubborn about me continuing.

[Truck]

I think you should definitely apply for the derived score, since either way it'll be of benefit to you.

With that said, whether or not you sit the actual exams is your personal choice. Maybe you choose to sit them but ease up on the studying, maybe you work harder then ever, I think there's many ways of rationalizing what you're going to do and none is less justifiable then the other. I don't think anyone here can give you advice on whether or not you should continue with VCE, that is a personal choice that you should make for yourself.. I wish you all the best though, hope you get through everything okay .

[brenden]

I agree your teacher didn't want to be a catalyst for your panic. The nature of teachers is they want the best for you, so in her opinion the best for you is to get the highest ATAR you can to set you up for further studies, which would come from sitting exams.
Don't say "i'm usually strong about these things" -> strength is not acting tough. Strength is being dealt the worst hand imaginable and continuing. One of my favourite quotes, no idea who from, -> if you're going through hell, keep going. The fact that you're talking about what you should do in terms of your exams etc shows your strength. That, is strong.
At the end of the day, fuck what your school thinks (sorry for any ninnies out there.) This is about you, what's best for you, with the decision made by you (as objectively as possible.)
As worthless as it is, my thoughts and well wishes are with you.