Hey there! My trials are on tomorrow for the three module so I'm trying to scribble up some generic essays - can you have a look at my module A introduction? Thanks a bunch! 
By pursuing to explore the similar connections through the shared notions in two texts from separate time periods, we are able to experience an enlightenment on the current functioning of society and how it has come to operate in such a way. Such connections can be drawn from Virginia Woolf's novel Mrs Dalloway and Stephen Daldry's 2002 film 'The Hours' which revolves around the plot of the former text. It is through comparative appraisals of the main notions encapsulated in the film which generates new insights into the nature of the historical societies. The different magnitude of significance placed upon the shared values embody the conventional eyes of the society from a particular time. The inception of such contemplation would then allow us to grasp a more solid understanding on how these notions have developed, opening the way for us to unravel the mystery of what makes such values withstand the normal erosion induced by time. Through these texts, the composers communicates to us how these perennial notions constantly circulate through society regardless of the time and how the transient attitudes of societies have come to generate ambivalence in their nature.
Hey there,
I understand the AN team are pretty busy, but i'll try and offer some feedback for your intro
First up, I think you need to reserve your first sentence for the question. It has to be a direct answer and show that you've processed and understood what it's asking of you, not just a general statement about the module. I remember handing a practice response to my teacher and she said if you start with something that could be applied broadly to any question, the marker goes off the assumption that you're regurgitating a prepared response which doesn't exactly work in your favour. So if you have time tonight, practice moulding the intro to different questions to make sure that you're comfortable with changing what you have pre-prepared.
I would separate how you introduce your texts and show how 'The Hours' develops the ideas first explored in the novel, the connections you draw here will be dictated by the question. I haven't studied these texts but I suspect the questions might centre around modernist themes. Also editing wise, remember to underline the titles of the texts in your written response.
I think the sentence just after your introduction of the texts is slightly convoluted, and ultimately just a repeat of your opening sentence. I would consider deleting it because it doesn't really add anything new.
It's crucial for the introduction that every word counts, long introductions show to the marker that you're still trying to work out your thesis. So maybe in planning time, try and have a really good idea of what you'll discuss so you can get straight into it.
For comments that were a bit briefer, i've bolded feedback in the following spoiler
Spoiler
By pursuing to explore the similar connections through the shared notions in two texts from separate time periods, we are able to experience an enlightenment on the current functioning of society and how it has come to operate in such a way. Such connections can be drawn from Virginia Woolf's novel Mrs Dalloway include the date here because this module is all about how context shapes the values expressed in a text and Stephen Daldry's 2002 film 'The Hours' which revolves around the plot of the former text Don't focus on plot, focus on the ideas that are common between the texts. It is through comparative appraisals of the main notions What main notions? Be careful not to use vague language, direct it towards the question encapsulated in the film which generates new insights into the nature of the historical societies Since this is a Mod A essay, detail the specific contexts and link it to your discussion of the themes common to both texts. The different magnitude of significance you could simplify your expression here by just saying value, don't lose your marker in the intro. Make it easier for both yourself and the marker and write simply (takes less time to think up long words too) placed upon the shared values embody the conventional eyes of the society from a particular time. The inception of such contemplation what do you mean by this? would then allow us to grasp a more solid understanding on how these notions have developed,rather than just acknowledging this, discuss how the ideas have developed opening the way for us to unravel the mystery of what makes such values withstand the normal erosion induced by time. Through these texts, the composers communicates to us how these perennial notions such as ... (insert focus of question)constantly circulate through society regardless of the time and how the transient attitudes of societies have come to generate ambivalence in their nature.
Overall, I think your expression at times can be a bit confusing and I really believe that you would be doing yourself a favour if you moved towards simpler words. I really struggled with this at the beginning of the year, but the more you focus on making your ideas dazzling rather than the words which surround them, the better. Also, your focus on the ideas as enduring is insightful, but only relevant if the question asks for it. I would spend this last day looking at and compiling evidence to show how different themes are explored and
why this is the result of context. You could also improve your intro by integrating explicit discussion of the context and linking it to these themes.
Hope this helped, good luck!
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Topic: English Advanced Question Thread (Read 1480087 times)