Teenaged Love - Pointless?

[Srd2000]

Love is just another high-school drama that distracts students from more important works. Does love in high-school, furthermore, teenaged years really matter? Should you go after those feelings that you have for that certain person in your class?

[Calebark]

Drama is what you make of it. I think certain people are going to attract drama, love life or not. I don't think it's fair to disregard relationships -- school is a part of life, not your whole life.

I was in a relationship from Yr 9 until just before my 2nd year of Yr 12, and I don't think it distracted me. It made me happy, which made me more productive. I even had a study buddy whenever I wanted one. Outside of this, it allowed me to mature as a person. It certainly expanded my understanding of interpersonal relationships.

The bigger issue is deciding if you're ready for a relationship at that age IMO

[Maraos]

Also I'm sure there are plenty of psychological benefits whilst in a healthy relationship which would definitely improve your performance in high school (that is if your relationship has a relatively low amount of 'drama'/stress). In the end the HSC comes down to exam technique and the way you perform under high stressed environments, content is important but exam technique is even more important. If a relationship has the added benefit of improving your mental state then that in-turn will improve your exam performance. You would also need to balance your time aswell, and i think good time management skills would be imperative if you want a relationship in high school.
So yes go after those feelings if you know deep down that you can manage the time involved in pursuing such a relationship.

[beatroot]

Interesting topic to talk about ...

Having a relationship during high school/teen years can help you develop as a person. Helps you be in touch with your feelings during the time of your maturity. It gives you insight on what the "real world" is going to be like.

However imo, dating for the sake of dating is not healthy at all. I find that people who are insecure during their teen years, resort to finding a boyfriend/girlfriend to shape their identity and gives them reassurance that they're alright. The drama and the attention that goes along with it can give an individual a sense of fulfilment I suppose. Once an insecure individual breaks up with their bf/gf, they will go on and find someone else. There's nothing wrong with that. Though in order to be satisfied in a relationship, you need to be happy with yourself first.

On the other hand, confident individuals who date during their teen years are likely to keep their relationship strong. I know girls in my year group who have been with their boyfriends for 1-2 years now, which is pretty impressive. I find that they're really happy with themselves. When they talk about their boyfriends (which is quite rare from what I've noticed), I see their eyes lit up with joy. It's nice knowing that they're so happy and in love.

This opinion is coming from someone who has never been in a relationship before. I think its because I've seen friends cry over their exes, who are not worth the tears. Being in love with the idea of being a relationship rather than the person themselves, isn't really my thing. I've learnt that from an incident from last year.

Just like Calebark said, the bigger issue is, is whether or not you are ready for a relationship during these years.

[RuiAce]

I feel like Jamon needs to get involved here.

[Shadowxo]

I was in a relationship pretty much from the start of year 12 to halfway through first year uni (a few months ago).
In some regards, it was a distraction. There were nights I stayed up late talking with him the night before a SAC but I think being a relationship at that time made me happy. That happiness was worth staying up late for and even though I may have been "distracted", it made doing work less draining and I doubt it was detrimental to my marks. If anything, it gave me motivation to do well.

I think it's fine to have relationships during school as long as you truly care about that person and know how to prioritise. If you do it to look cool or because you think it'll be fun: no, it won't be good. But if that person makes you happy, you're likely to be more cheerful and potentially even improve on your marks. You just need to find the right person and get into a relationship for the right reasons

[fantasticbeasts3]

depends on the person, really. there are heaps of examples out there of great relationships :-)

[jamonwindeyer]

I feel like Jamon needs to get involved here.

Thanks for the intro

So my current girlfriend and I met at the start of Year 8, started 'dating' at the end of Year 8. So we'll be celebrating our 7 year anniversary in November (we're going on a cruise, mucho excited!!). Obviously no one expected it to last as long as it has back then, and look, logically we might not have either at the start. But that's not what we were in it for, we weren't looking for a husband or wife - We liked each other. We were both into nerdy things. We made each other happy, so hey, why not?

She's a huge part of the person I've become today. All of my self confidence comes from her, a huge amount of my work ethic comes from her (hard to not study when your girlfriend is studying so hard lol) - I shudder to think where I'd be without her because I honestly attribute a vast majority of what I've accomplished in the last seven years, in some way, to her.

So yeah, I'm personally a big believer in high school relationships, it is just a part of the experience. Not that everyone should go hunting for somebody, but if the opportunity arises and you are into it, go for it! Worst case, you end up in a bit of a shitty relationship - It teaches you a bit about yourself and your wants/needs, a bit about relationships. I'd hope that usually, you have a good experience, have some fun with the person you are with for some decent period of time - And on the high statistical chance it doesn't last - Well, life goes on. Again, you learn a lot, and it sucks for a bit, but you always dust yourself off.

Or you get lucky like me, and you find who you'll end up marrying (when I save up enough for a bloody ring, lol)

[spectroscopy]

i gotta agree with my man jamon on this one. from my cohort in high school there are literally 15-20 relationships that started in high school which are still going now (3rd year uni).
definitely depends on the type of people and circumstances and shit but these days you really start to see alot of people stay together for ages from high school.

[EEEEEEP]

Love is just another high-school drama that distracts students from more important works. Does love in high-school, furthermore, teenaged years really matter? Should you go after those feelings that you have for that certain person in your class?

Sure why not?

You two understand each others needs and are going through the same things (HS, puberty) =). It's also a great motivation as she/he can make you feel bad when you slack around when there's things around the corner.

Gotta agree with Jamon and Aaron, Hs relos do last a long time.

[zofromuxo]

As many have said there is no hard, fast, black and white answer .
It can be pointless or it could be the "one".
I've seen the quintessential "high school sweethearts" and the "dramatic teenage heartbreak".

I think what I will say that if you aren't serious about relationships, don't bother. It can hurt a lot, if you do it just for the sake of it. It is in fact a terrible thing to do, to play with someone's heart because you want to experience a relationship and not become you may have romantic feelings.
In that case it is pointless.

But as other posts with their own experiences, it can make you a better person.
I do echo the sentiments that you learn a lot about relationships. I learnt from my short lived one, a lot about relationships and myself and sure it was terrible that she broke up with me via a Skype message. But it taught me a lot regardless on not being on the same page, communication, understanding others, being honest and a plethora of other things.

So teenage love can be pointless and may not be. I mean there is a reason why nearly all of not all "high school, teenage based" novels have romance in the or the "high school sweethearts" trope, the "teen heartbreak" trope and all those love tropes involving teenager is popular.

[meganrobyn]

Learning how to have healthy, open, supportive, loving relationships: vastly more important than high school. Start whenever you find someone you can do that with.

[Srd2000]

Would you say there are relationships that formed from lust or infatuation, rather love? How would a young pubescent teenager know the difference between the lust or infatuation they have for someone and if they actually love them?

[Joseph41]

Would you say there are relationships that formed from lust or infatuation, rather love? How would a young pubescent teenager know the difference between the lust or infatuation they have for someone and if they actually love them?

How would anybody?

[jamonwindeyer]

Would you say there are relationships that formed from lust or infatuation, rather love? How would a young pubescent teenager know the difference between the lust or infatuation they have for someone and if they actually love them?

And in a similar train of thought to Joseph41, how do you start to figure this out without actually engaging in a romantic relationship?