English Advanced Essay Marking (Modules Only)

[itssona]

Sure thing!

Spoiler

How do both composers use dramatisation to explore ideas about identity? Use Cosi and one Harwood poem of your own choosing.

At the crux of individuals’ intrinsic motivation, are continuous intersections of social integration in attempts to render a solidified reaffirmation of identity. Whoa - I think this Thesis is suffering a bit from being overly verbose. Get to the point a little more simply - There are definitely ways to get this across more clearly. Dramatisation techniques are used by composers to challenge prevailing notions surrounding this attainment of one’s identity and however different the dramatisation techniques in ‘Cosi’ by Louis Nowra, and ‘Father and Child’ by Gwen Harwood are, both are implicitly and explicitly connected by the exploration of individualism. I like how you bring in the examples fluently with the discussion of theme, works well. I'd maybe add "techniques in TEXTS SUCH AS 'Cosi'... though, for better flow.. Such composer intentions perpetuate beyond the relevance of social conformity, but rather, the necessitation of substantial interactions to undergo abolishment of pre-existing ideologies and thus, authentic redemption in identity. Slight expression issue there. Through a comparison of these texts, we understand that a quest to overcome the barriers to all semblance of individualism transcends textual differences, with the transformation of Lewis in ‘Cosi’, holding resemblance to the experimental growth of the persona in ‘Father and Child’.  This Thesis has great ideas, but the wording is too complex to get the point across clearly. Vocabulary is great, but when you overdo it (which I think you've done here) it becomes a tad counterproductive.

Both composers characterise their respective personas as initial embodiments of naivety, later evolving into more distinctive personas, as they are met with interactions which alter their existing ideologies encompassing identity. What do you mean by more 'distinctive?' Besides that I like this Thesis, perhaps a tad text focused but works well on the whole. In ‘Cosi’, the examination of Lewis’ initial uncertainty reveals the way in which his thoughts initially mirror that of society at the time, with little of his personal reflection. His subsequent transformation in values is encapsulated in Louis Nowra’s utilisation of light, where changes in light reflect inherent changes in attitudes and symbolise the characters’ personal awareness. Good analysis, though perhaps a tad vague - Do you have a specific scene example where light is used to show a specific attitude? Initially in the play, Lewis is instilled with an unsound fear, depicted in the flickering fuse box, mirroring Lewis’ flickering uncertainty and lack of confidence. Careful you don't slip into retell. This lack of confidence in leading the play is further accentuated through examining the contextual divergence surrounding present-day views and the more neglectful attitudes towards the mentally ill at the time, where they were viewed as a minority and faced profound negligence. Not 100% sure of the link you just made there. Likewise, the persona in ‘Father and Child’ also undergoes a progression in values, stemming from an initial vulnerability and innocence. This shift in values is illustrated through the explicit construction of the poem into two separate poems, in which the latter poem ‘Nightfall’ exhibits a mournful tone. What about the first poem? If you are going to bring up this structural element it would be most effective to analyse it fully. The most dominant of Harwood’s dramatisation techniques is her incorporation of the natural world to convey philosophical elements within the construction of her poetry. The mournful tone in ‘Nightfall’ is accompanied by the portrayal of death as being calm, in the instance of her father, and violent, in terms of the owl’s death. What techniques portray this? The persona’s temptation to kill the owl, initially an act of rebellion, later hints at an underlying purpose extending beyond rebellion, but moreso- an awakening to the reality that death can bring forth knowledge. Try not to use plot elements or things happening/experienced by characters to portray themes. Should all go back to techniques. This is ultimately symbolic of the persona’s perception of growth and change and allows the reader to gain an understanding of how differing depictions of death can shape present ideologies. The two texts are therefore connected by notions of overcoming the struggle to establish a separate sense of identity, through meaningful interactions. Good paragraph, good ideas and good references to audience. Not the best analysis - Try and include more techniques!
 
Both texts explore the mutual concept of the association of one’s seemingly apparent nature, with their identity. Not quite sure what you mean by this concept - Nature associated with identity, might need to elaborate more? Through examining Lewis’ apprehensions surrounding working with Doug, a pyromaniac, we are led to see how the influence of textual ‘play’ can manipulate societal views on a subject matter. Try not to use plot elements to communicate themes. Embedded within ‘Cosi’ is the refined use of ‘black comedy’ as a theatrical form, to provide relief and deflect from seriousness through satirising sensitive issues in a comical context. Throughout the play, comical remarks are made by Doug, such as “go burn a cat”- an allusion to Doug ‘accidentally’ burning his mother’s house. Retelling a bit here - Don't just restate lines from the story and explain them. Doug further relates his crimes to being “perfect crimes”, where the placement of “perfect” and “crime” emphasise the lack of connection between action and consequences. There is some analysis here, but it seems more like you are just recounting what the character of Doug says. This is retell! The audience affirms to their common perceptions of pyromaniacs such as Doug, and subsequently draw upon the amorality accompanying his actions and that of other pyromaniacs, reflecting the instability with which one’s apparent traits are co-existent with their identity.This discussion of one’s identity being associated to their seemingly evident traits, is fundamental to both texts, in that Harwood also utilises several perspectives to comment on moral boundaries. Ahh, the way you've explained the concept is MUCH better here, I'd adapt this wording to use in the first sentence. Makes loads more sense. The complexity of gender roles surveys the possible interpretations undermining ‘Father and Child’, the notion permeating the truths surrounding the role of gender in one’s conceived identity. Gender is not specified in the poem, hinting that the persona may have acted in an act of defiance, to display their masculinity. Try to be sure of your arguments, use high modality language, don't say "may have" because it implies you are unsure of your own argument. If the persona is written through the interpersonal experiences of Harwood herself, the child can be seen as taking on the masculine role of her father- an act exceeding that of parents, but rather, delving into moral boundaries within society. Again, even if it is just your interpretation, be confident in that interpretation! Confident arguments win marks. Through this, we understand that, despite Nowra and Harwood’s contrasting portrayals of discrepancy in identity, both are linked by the exploration of such discrepancies. Another good paragraph, slightly focused on retell instead of techniques though. However, the idea is well communicated and the concepts you've raised are excellent.

Great essay sssona! Great concepts in the response and these are linked well to the audience. Be careful you aren't being overly verbose in your introduction, and make sure you are using techniques in your analysis! Don't fall into "this character said/did this," that is retell, you want to explore techniques used by the composer and how they create meaning. Once you start focusing on characters you have shifted to a text focused response, which is not our goal!

Hope this feedback helps

Omg thank you so much Jamon!!! :)Thank you for pointing at the retell thing too - I'll work with this

[phebsh]

Heyy
So I've got this assignment that I'm totally freaking out about simply because I don't feel like I know much about this module! It's been super hectic lately and I didn't get to read the text (Art of Travel) which I know is so terrible but I don't think I'll have time to and I don't know what to do! On top of my own confusion, my teacher has just changed and the new teacher decided to alter the assignment so I'm just not sure what I'm doing and I'm stressinggg 

I don't know if anyone here will be able to help me but I definitely wanted to seek help so I thought it was worth posting. I'll attach the alterations of the assignment and my plan of what I might want to do. (I don't have a soft copy of the original assessment sheet but the document I'm attaching outlines the task)

If no one is able to help out, I totally understand because it is a big ask. Thank you for reading this either way

[elysepopplewell]

Hey all, in 48 hours from now we will be locking these marking threads for the trial period. The two main reasons being, we want to be able to help lots of students in the time it takes to mark an essay/creative (usually 30-45 minutes at least) while lots of students need the help during trials, and also because feedback becomes less constructive with minimal time until the exam because we want to avoid panicking you with big changes, so the feedback isn't as worthwhile for you.

Not to fear - you still have 48 hours to post your work and we will get to marking them even after the threads are locked (if there's backlog).

We'll still be here to help you during the trials with all of our Q+A threads, downloadable notes, thesis statement feedback and so on. Thanks for understanding! We're still here to help on all of the boards that aren't marking threads!

[katemoses]

Hey I was just wondering if my module C essay is developed and sophisticated enough.
Thanks

[jamonwindeyer]

Hey I was just wondering if my module C essay is developed and sophisticated enough.
Thanks

Hi Kate, welcome to the forums!

According to our essay marking rules (which you can read here) you'll need 25 posts on ATAR Notes to qualify for feedback in our marking threads. The markers are swamped right now and this is our way of prioritising

Keen to see you both posting around the forums! Let us know if we can help you find stuff

[Wales]

I've got 5 essays to do but I won't bombard you with em all as I'm fairly confident with the rest Would be appreciated if feedback could be given asap as the essays on tuesday!

“Composers may share similar concerns, but their contexts and values determine how these concerns are conveyed.

Discuss this above statement with close reference to the prescribed texts studies in the elective texts. 

As society progresses the presence of Shakespeare diminishes as individuals are distanced from his profound works and become entrapped in pop culture, reinforcing the notion that his works are beyond comprehension of the modern demographic. William Shakespeare's King Richard III (K3) being textually and linguistically dramatic promotes the stereotype that his works are of a different level of sophistication and difficult for a postmodern audience to understand. Al Pacino created his docudrama Looking For Richard (LFR) with the pure objective of breaking the stereotype and transcending K3’s confines of the Elizabethan context and to introduce the relevance of Shakespeare in modern society. By comparing the transcending values of society; power, divinity and politics, the audience is able to convert the appeal of Elizabethan theatricality to a postmodern cinematic context allowing for an enlightened understanding of the purpose of Shakespeare’s works today.

The integrity of human nature whilst innate is susceptible to change due shifting moral values in society. Shakespeare effectively integrates the Elizabethan notions of power and manipulation into his theatrical production Richard III to illustrate to the elizabethan audience the corrupting nature of power as a result of the War of the Roses. Shakespeare delves into Richard’s obsession with supremacy through the use of definitive language in his soliloquy “determined to prove a villain” accentuating his audacious stance in achieving ultimate power allowing the audience to understand the inherent malicious intent of his actions. Shakespeare’s portrayal of Richard’s deformity capitalises the providential notion of determinism and effectively allows the Elizabethan audience to understand how Richard’s body was shaped advance to justify his lacking moral compass. Throughout the play the two prominent descriptions of Richard as “deformed” and “monstrous” can be a interpretive pattern where which take bodily anomalies as evidence for deeper moral truths. Shakespeare asserts the truth that Richard’s deformation are innate and reveals in the opening soliloquy where Richard describes himself as “rudely stamped” clearly alluding to his body as a manifestation of malevolence rather than a mere disability. By hyperbolising the hierarchical structures of the Elizabethan era, Shakespeare effectively reinforces the damaging ideology of power present in society, illustrating the importance of the relationship between context and its values.   



Conversely, Pacino presents the play by appropriating Richard’s innate desire for power into a 20th century context. He guides the postmodern audience through a stream of consciousness style docudrama which to an understanding Shakespeare’s works through his use of dramatic techniques such as rapid camera movements to signify tension between a desire for power and one’s sense of morality. In contemporary society power is defined as political prowess and the ability to manipulate the populace, which alludes to Richard’s machiavellian persona. Pacino manifests Richards thirst for power in his dark costuming ultimately assisting the postmodern audience in identifying the inherent malevolence of Richard through the visual appreciation of color in a visual medium appropriate to the context where black denotes a sense of evil and death. Furthermore the chiaroscuro lighting and Pacino’s role both as actor and director allow the audience to understand the portrayal of Richard’s power and duplicitous nature in a modern context . Pacino’s context of the 21st century contrasts the Shakespearean notion of justice of the Chain of Being with the postmodern ethnocentric context where power is instead limited by one’s moral compass. Pacino symbolises Richard’s autocratic power with the nd impunity in contrast to the fear divine retribution in Elizabethan era. Pacino’s manipulation of textual form effectively captures Shakespeare’s representation of power and translates it into a salient textual medium for the contemporary audience to comprehend. 


Throughout K3 the audience is conflicted as to how Richard is able to carry out his actions in the Elizabethan context where religious influence dominates conscience of the citizens. Conscience first appears with the religious allusions to the 10 Commandments “stealing, swearing and adultery” which signifies that one’s conscience will betray them once they do something less than acceptable as a result of a fear of divine retribution. The notion of providentialism is raised by the second murderer in the religious allusion “Take the devil in thy mind and believe him not” revealing the overwhelming influence of God that extends to sinners and how they are still troubled by conscience. The hesitancy exhibited by both murderers emphasises the complicit nature of Richard as one who will exploit the moral weakness of others in order to acquire his desires akin to that of a machiavellian villain. The theocentric context of the Elizabethan era implies providentialism is inescapable enforced through Margret’s religious symbolism “All may be well but if God sort it so” which capitalises upon the omnipotent nature of God. Ultimately the human conscience is explicitly displayed in K3 allowing the audience to understand the effect of religion on one’s actions and conscience in a theocentric society and the futility of attempting to escape the wrath of the divine.           


Similarly, Pacino establishes the effects of the human conscience on one’s actions by contrasting divine retribution with the moral and ethical obligations of the secular modern day. As society gravitates towards ethnocentrism the previously omnipotent presence of God is appropriated by Pacino into a self centered ethical obligation and fear of disapproval by society. Pacino engages the audience in the ghost scene with the dramatic music and lightning sound effects revealing the consequences of ethnocentricity where the fear of divine retribution is less prominent instead more directed at moral and ethical issues such as the Clinton scandals in 21st century America. Moreover, the appropriation of the Tower of London being the location for the murder reinforces the fear of societal judgement where the walls symbolise protection from greater society. Pacino powerfully appropriates the contextual ideas of the Shakespeare’s notions of evil and thirst for power to a postmodern audience through film, capitalising on how one’s moral conscience is quintessential in shaping their relations and desires.

Each composer brings intention for their art to a particular medium from the confines of the Globe Theatre or America in the 21st century they both present opportunities and challenges. Pacino’s expertise in contemporary culture and the Elizabethan era allows him to effectively transcend the confines of the Shakespearean context and manipulate the text in a way to fit the postmodern audience allowing for a genuine appreciation for the great works of Shakespeare.

Appreciate the work you all do~ Apologies again for not being active recently. Trials and such ):

[winstondarmawan]

Hello! Would appreciate feedback for my Module B Essay for Speeches, this one is for Atwood and Lessing.

Spoiler

“How do speakers use construction and rhetoric to emphasise the importance of a shared vision?”
The mutual desire of speaker and audience to reside in a harmonious and egalitarian society, heightened in periods of conflict will formulate a shared vision. This vision encompasses collectively held values, such as the power of literature and the need for equality. The importance of these unanimous ideals is crystallised through a speech’s well-crafted arguments, laced with rhetoric to coordinate such arguments to the desired shared vision. Margaret Atwood’s Spotty Handed Villainesses (1994) and Dorris Lessing’s On Not Winning the Novel Prize (2007) champion the power of literature in fuelling holistic education through their effective use of rhetoric, prompting audiences to re-evaluate previously held beliefs and actualise the speaker’s proposed vision.
Literature, as an expression of the values and tropes that comprise our humanity, can have a large-scale influence on societal norms, testament to its importance and power. The birth of radical ‘third wave’ feminism invites Atwood to discuss various propositions, especially the representation of women in literature, to a primarily female audience. Bringing her acclaimed witty and acerbically satirical reputation into fruition through her tone, Atwood encapsulates the irony of wholly good or bad women through the motif of the ‘spots’ in the exordium. This establishes the danger of two-dimensional characters, ‘Create a flawless character and you create an insufferable one; which may be why I am interested in spots.’, dually enforcing the moral complexity of women, and the importance of literature. The dangers of misrepresentation in literature are further exhumed in the body, when youth are often inspired by fictional characters. Atwood astutely presents this through an anecdote, whereby she asks her daughter  performing a play, “Are you going to do anything except have breakfast”, to which her daughter replies “no”, extrapolating from this an extended metaphor of the ‘eternal breakfast’. This eternal breakfast encapsulates the stereotypes placed amongst women, as two-dimensional, due to their misrepresentation in literature, again emphasising the power of literature to create misshapen stereotypes. As such, it is only when the power of literature is utilised to subvert these stereotypes and forward the representation of women as holistic that more explicit values such as equality can be pursued.  Thus, Atwood places great emphasis on the power of literature, a shared value between herself and her majority widely-read and educated female audience to implant societal barriers onto women, and dangers of such when wholesome characters aren’t depicted.
Similar sentiments about power and importance of literature and the detriments of its absence are projected in Lessing’s On Not Winning the Novel Prize. A nation wrought with political instability and void of physical and mental resource, Lessing reflects on the barren Zimbabwe landscape as an extended metaphor for the absence of education based on literature. This is established immediately in the exordium where present tense in ‘I am standing’, inaugurating a sense of immediacy for the need for literature. The blunt anaphora and cumulation in ‘no atlas or globe in the school, no textbooks, no exercise books’ accentuates the importance of literature in providing fundamental education, painting the absence of such as a reflection of one’s environment. Exemplifying the lack of literature in impoverished nations, Lessing incorporates direct speech in ‘Please send us books when you get back to London’ one man says” to convey the desires of those unable to immerse themselves in literature, and despite Lessing and the audience having a shared vision in the importance of literature, the true extent of such a value may not be realised. The absence of literature can have significant implications, as literature is defined by Atwood as models of language and the human experience. As a result, many individuals in these nations are driven without moral, such as the ‘headmaster (who) has embezzled the school funds’, forging a cycle of demoralisation, affecting youth who will ‘steal chalk left out on the blackboard’. Lessing epitomises the shared vision of importance of literature through the anecdote of her youth, whereby she was brought up in ‘a mud hut, but it was full of books’, allowing her to be alleviated from the predicament of an impoverished lifestyle. As such, the shared vision between Lessing and her privileged audience about the importance of literature is elucidated, to ensure that her audience appreciates the prerogative of literature. 
The shared vision of equality by speaker and audience is emphasised through the abolishment of the structures that promote inequality. In a society which yearns for egalitarianism, Atwood ensures to preface her speech in he exordium on equality rather than misandry, challenging a misconception that ‘bad behaviour is the monopoly of men’. This mindset, presented by radical feminists present women as ‘communal egalitarians’, incapable of performing bad deeds. The use of the adage ‘If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all’ infuses a sense of irony into the arguments presented by radical feminists, as it contradicts the proposition of free will. By retorting against such statements, Atwood emphasises the importance of equality between men and women, depicting them as three-dimensional and complex beings. Furthermore, Atwood proposes that since the complexity of men in literature is well-articulated, the pursuit of equality involves painting women in a similar light. Hence, Atwood imparts with an imperative tone onto the audience the precondition of ‘conflict in a story’, and the input of a three-dimensional ‘female lead in the centre of this conflict’, to more accurately depict the complexity of women. Atwood’s shared vision of equality is evident in the development of complex female characters in modern literature and film, such as Hermione Granger and Katniss Everdeen, that act as a multiplex model of behaviour for youth, in essence uprooting the ingrained stereotypes of women and furthering society towards equality. As such, Atwood is able to effectively examine the shared vision of equality to with audience, imparting methods of writing which oppose the imbedded misrepresentation of women.
By heavily drawing on empathy, speakers prompt their audience to realise a shared vision of equality and its importance in creating a harmonious global society. Disparity in physical, economic and educational standards between global citizens is highlighted through Atwood’s extensive use of juxtaposition. After painting a blatantly bleak image of a corrupt and barren school in Zimbabwe, Lessing mentions “The next day I am to give a talk at a school in North London, a very good school… with beautiful buildings and gardens’, illuminating the present inequalities between these widely different societies. Further exerting the importance of equality, Lessing proposes the rhetorical questions ‘Is it really so impossible for these privileged students to imagine such bare poverty?’, provoking the audience to recognise such privilege, and hence emphasising the importance of a shared vision for equality. This shared vision is entrenched further into the minds of the audience, as Lessing exercises the use of inclusive pronouns in coup with a precautionary tone in ‘We all know this sad story. But we do not know the end of it’, foments the recognition of the true extent of inequalities existent, inducing empathy and the desire for global society based on equality. Therefore, Lessing is able to impart the shared vision of equality unto her audience through drawing on a sense of empathy. 

Hi, just bumping my post from ages ago because I think it got missed

[frog1944]

Hi,

If you get a chance it would be much appreciated if you could give me some feedback.

Module: B
Concern: Length. It is very long, and when there are 4 paragraphs of this size it becomes difficult to write in the allocated time. Also, if there is any other general critique to improve it.

Essay Question: Explore how time and place are used in the prescribed speeches to shape the audience’s understanding of how knowledge of the past sheds light on the present. In your response, make detailed reference to at least TWO of the speeches set for study.

Paragraph: Margaret Atwood’s speech “Spotty Handed Villainesses” (1994) addresses the abuse of literature to recognise only the male dominated portion of human experience throughout history, and thus, its failure to reflect the diversity of life and its moral intricacy as expressed by women. Delivered numerous times at literary events, Atwood’s discussion is clearly catalysed by the “third wave” of feminism in 1994, which targeted the need to abolish stereotypes and representing non-white women. Atwood begins to engage her intellectual audience through her conversational style of address coupled with her deceptively colloquial register, disarming the audience and opening them up to her didactic insights. Atwood’s opening concept of the dichotomy between virtuous and vile women is introduced through the historical allusion “... Angel/Whore split so popular among the Victorians…” This evidently displays that women in literature are portrayed as existing solely in two locations on the spectrum of morality, confronting the audience at such a limited and restricted view of women. As a result, we are perplexed at this seemingly obvious, yet undeniably subtle personality trait that seems to have been forced upon all textual representations of women. Though, Atwood continues to maintain focus through the irony “Were women to be condemned to virtue for life …”, expressing the ridiculous length of time for which multi-dimensional women have been devoid from literary texts. Finally, Atwood incorporates a rhetorical question “... they exist in life, so why shouldn’t they exist in literature?” The self evident absurdity of excluding women who are multifaceted from literature stamps the audience’s conscious, leaving a lasting impression and thus persuading the audience of Atwood’s viewpoint of the need to address the issue of female representation.

Thanks!

[left right gn]

Hello,
My trials are coming up in 2 weeks, I've seen papers that ask for three poems to be used (Yeats , mod B).
If I get asked these types of questions, how do I structure and tackle it?

[jamonwindeyer]

Hi, just bumping my post from ages ago because I think it got missed

Indeed it did, sorry! I'll get this done asap

[shamza]

Hey, This is a essay on hamlet Shakespeare, and the reason to why it is still relevant today.

Spoiler

Shakespeare “was not of an age, but for all time”, as exquisitely stated by Ben Johnson a critique of 17th century literature. Himself, you, the world, observed, examined and criticised Shakespeare and his plays. A deconstruct of the 16th century play ‘Hamlet’. This play undoubtedly holds universal relevance as it functions for deeper meaning of the human condition through the forms of Aristotelian genre, the characterisation allowing it to transcend contextual barriers and still be appreciated today. Shakespeare’s connection with dramatic techniques drills into the mine fields of entertainment and allows to relate to the audience and contemporary issues. The adaptation and creation of these paths have allowed Shakespeare to indulge into the minds of spectators to express the relevance of time and the integral issues of humanity still relevant today.
But why thou study it? Why thou decipher the struggles of 16th century? The corruption of Denmark does not bother the Young Australian I am today….
Contextual Influence is a major contributor in defining Shakespeare’s approach by two socio-cultural revolutions. The Protestant Reformation of 1526, a reformation of religion, a contemporary issue that still prevails today, and the emergence of the Renaissance humanism in the 15th century, the promotion of human excellence of literature and art. Are these not the thought processes of a post-modernist world? The absence of religion and appreciation of modern art in media and literature. Furthermore the sceptical strain of humanism, is emphasised by the limitation of human understanding. Shakespeare’s characterisation of Hamlet as a modern pessimist ‘renaissance man,’ who is cultured in the consequences of his action.
A Juxtapose can be seen with the existentialist perspective “There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so” with more established religious values “There’s a divinity that shapes our ends, rough-hew them how we will” signifying Hamlet’s embodiment of contextual schisms, as the caesura in the middle of the quote creates a sense of balance that whether our divinity is shaped or are we ready to shape our-selves.  As our young Hamlet realises that things are inevitable he explores Fatalism through the recognition of divine intervention and death and therefore discovers the idea that of controlling everything is incapable due to our pre-determined ‘ends’. This also bring the question to if God is so Good and Great, Why is there Evil? A relevant question asked by many atheists today, that is the result of loss of religion in our society. This is supported by Dwery’s reading of the play’s resolution, where he argues that “Hamlet recognises the inevitability of death, accepting his father’s death and recognising his own unavoidable fate”. The relevance to this is that we today need to value what we have now, Shakespeare teaches us to apprehend the present as it is gift, through its very own complex ways, and his plays also invite the questioning of existence and meaning, allowing for his text to have the highest order of textual integrity of 400 years old.
Hamlet is a play about tragedy, just like many other plays of Shakespeare. Most Nextflix specials and or shows include an element of tragedy. Our Play-Write effectively created a hybridised text that synthesized aspects of Kydian and Aristotelian conventions that demonstrated his innovative response to a Renaissance humanist context. Today we have creators Like Tyler, who is a great example of using different element influenced by the world within his mediums. The director Tarantino who has established his career by using aspects of other movies and idea to create his own. Though I am not saying Shakespeare is not original, his plays are the most original of kind, but what has made Shakespeare plays relevance to our society is the use of contemporary context and Kydian revenge which stresses the hesitation, of the avenger before the murder; Shakespeare’s realisation of this is revealed in rhetorical paralepsis when Hamlet claims, “To take him in the purging of his soul, when he is fit and seasoned for his passage? No. Up, sword.” This reinforces Hamlet’s introspective nature.  The use of a Metatheatre is also popular to Kyddian tragedy – a popular feature evident in Hamlet with Hamlet’s play-within-a-play in the scene of the Mousetrap. The title of the play symbolises, the use of an attraction, to capture the King. The Kydian form easily enables Shakespeare to emphasise exceptional views giving credibility to the play. And the ultimate relevance to our society, as the play Hamlet allows for the understanding of revenge and its outcomes.
Life, that’s relevant, I live you live. Religion expresses life, our parents teach us about life. And now media and even the internet has pretty much raised me to the understanding of ‘life’. Further in depth analyses of Hamlets, demonstrates the paradigm of life. William my father for English literature has taught us the paradigm of a man’s journey through life. Hamlet mirrors the creation of Shakespeare ‘Seven Ages of Man’ from his works of “As you like it”. This begins with Hamlets childlike obsession and awe over his father death. An uncontrollable grief, like a tantrum. An adolescent lover in this stage he is always regretful for his rational reasons, solidifying statement is when he says “I lovers Ophelia; forty thousand brothers could not with all their quantity of love make up my sum” in a strategic hyperbole. The age of soldier, learn the lesson of fearsome death, and comes to a conflict of “to be or not to be” in his soliloquy he also claims of the “sleep of death” in which “Dreams come true”. His approach, to the existential question, childlike and further Hamlet lured by Horatio to sleep. And thereafter a fulfilment of tragedy, death.  With Shakespeare’s use of the Brecht’s verfremdungseffekt the audience are able to delve into a deeper level of intellectual understanding of the process of life and initiation to combat such conflict with in the heart. This allows Shakespeare play, connected better with his audience, and create an own understanding of reality and meaning and acknowledging the transcendence and textual integrity to the play. This teaches the importance of Shakespeare as his plays have much more to offer then a mummy son issue.
Shakespeare’s integral play hamlet, is an important aspect to the young adults, to further develop their understanding of, humanities characteristic. His uses of contemporary issues, with integral transcendence, allows for us to learn the results of fatalism, the results of a revenge tragedy, and the philosophy of the ‘Seven Ages of Man’. Shakespeare therefore plays an important part in the education system to help the understanding of humanities flaws. 

Mod Edit: Added spoiler

[Wales]

Hello,
My trials are coming up in 2 weeks, I've seen papers that ask for three poems to be used (Yeats , mod B).
If I get asked these types of questions, how do I structure and tackle it?

I did this for my Half Yearlies.

I did:

Intro
Poem 1
Poem 2
Poem 3
Conclusion

I'm really hoping I don't get a specified poem question ):

[jamonwindeyer]

Hello! Would appreciate feedback for my Module B Essay for Speeches, this one is for Atwood and Lessing.

Sure thing!

Spoiler

“How do speakers use construction and rhetoric to emphasise the importance of a shared vision?”

The mutual desire of speaker and audience to reside in a harmonious and egalitarian society, heightened in periods of conflict will formulate a shared vision. This vision encompasses collectively held values, such as the power of literature and the need for equality. The importance of these unanimous ideals is crystallised through a speech’s well-crafted arguments, laced with rhetoric to coordinate such arguments to the desired shared vision. I like this Thesis! It is interesting, essentially you are saying that speakers use rhetoric to capitalise on what are actually shared visions of peace and harmony, I've not seen this before! I think it could stand to be simplified though, the wording is just the slightest bit off to mine. Margaret Atwood’s Spotty Handed Villainesses (1994) and Dorris Lessing’s On Not Winning the Novel Prize (2007) champion the power of literature in fuelling holistic education through their effective use of rhetoric, prompting audiences to re-evaluate previously held beliefs and actualise the speaker’s proposed vision. Cool introduction - Answers the question, introduces the texts and themes nicely. Works well.

Literature, as an expression of the values and tropes that comprise our humanity, can have a large-scale influence on societal norms, testament to its importance and power. Good. The birth of radical ‘third wave’ feminism invites Atwood to discuss various propositions, especially the representation of women in literature, to a primarily female audience. Good recognition of the audience. Bringing her acclaimed witty and acerbically satirical reputation into fruition through her tone, Atwood encapsulates the irony of wholly good or bad women through the motif of the ‘spots’ in the exordium. This establishes the danger of two-dimensional characters, ‘Create a flawless character and you create an insufferable one; which may be why I am interested in spots.’, dually enforcing the moral complexity of women, and the importance of literature. Excellent analysis here, very fluid, this works brilliantly. The dangers of misrepresentation in literature are further exhumed in the body, when youth are often inspired by fictional characters. Atwood astutely presents this through an anecdote, whereby she asks her daughter  performing a play, “Are you going to do anything except have breakfast”, to which her daughter replies “no”, extrapolating from this an extended metaphor of the ‘eternal breakfast’. Be careful you don't rely too much on the CONTENT of the speech to do your analysis, you are sort of stepping through a recount of the speech here. Just say "the extended metaphor of the 'eternal breakfast' communicates..." This eternal breakfast encapsulates the stereotypes placed amongst women, as two-dimensional, due to their misrepresentation in literature, again emphasising the power of literature to create misshapen stereotypes. As such, it is only when the power of literature is utilised to subvert these stereotypes and forward the representation of women as holistic that more explicit values such as equality can be pursued.  Thus, Atwood places great emphasis on the power of literature, a shared value between herself and her majority widely-read and educated female audience to implant societal barriers onto women, and dangers of such when wholesome characters aren’t depicted. Fantastic analysis in this paragraph, but I'd love to see you adjust the wording slightly to be MORE succinct and get just one more quote and analysis in there.

Similar sentiments about power and importance of literature and the detriments of its absence are projected in Lessing’s On Not Winning the Novel Prize. A nation wrought with political instability and void of physical and mental resource, Lessing reflects on the barren Zimbabwe landscape as an extended metaphor for the absence of education based on literature. Great pattern you've fallen into, here's the theme and here's the context. This is established immediately in the exordium where present tense in ‘I am standing’, inaugurating a sense of immediacy for the need for literature. The blunt anaphora and cumulation in ‘no atlas or globe in the school, no textbooks, no exercise books’ accentuates the importance of literature in providing fundamental education, painting the absence of such as a reflection of one’s environment. Excellent. Exemplifying the lack of literature in impoverished nations, Lessing incorporates direct speech in ‘Please send us books when you get back to London’ one man says” to convey the desires of those unable to immerse themselves in literature, and despite Lessing and the audience having a shared vision in the importance of literature, the true extent of such a value may not be realised. The absence of literature can have significant implications, as literature is defined by Atwood as models of language and the human experience. As a result, many individuals in these nations are driven without moral, such as the ‘headmaster (who) has embezzled the school funds’, forging a cycle of demoralisation, affecting youth who will ‘steal chalk left out on the blackboard’. Ever so slightly slipping away from analysis here - The first part of the paragraph was perfect, this is a little more 'retell-esque.' Lessing epitomises the shared vision of importance of literature through the anecdote of her youth, whereby she was brought up in ‘a mud hut, but it was full of books’, allowing her to be alleviated from the predicament of an impoverished lifestyle. As such, the shared vision between Lessing and her privileged audience about the importance of literature is elucidated, to ensure that her audience appreciates the prerogative of literature. Excellent paragraph once again, this one gets the amount of analysis in that I would want to see. Could still do a bit with the back end of the paragraph to make it a little more succinct.
 
The shared vision of equality by speaker and audience is emphasised through the abolishment of the structures that promote inequality. In a society which yearns for egalitarianism, Atwood ensures to preface her speech in he exordium on equality rather than misandry, challenging a misconception that ‘bad behaviour is the monopoly of men’. This mindset, presented by radical feminists present women as ‘communal egalitarians’, incapable of performing bad deeds. Slight wording issue there? Doesn't quite read nicely. The use of the adage ‘If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all’ infuses a sense of irony into the arguments presented by radical feminists, as it contradicts the proposition of free will. By retorting against such statements, Atwood emphasises the importance of equality between men and women, depicting them as three-dimensional and complex beings. Nice analysis, though it seems you might be doing a little too much work to make it relevant. The prior paragraph got the point across in a single sentence per quote, that is what you should strive for!. Furthermore, Atwood proposes that since the complexity of men in literature is well-articulated, the pursuit of equality involves painting women in a similar light. Hence, Atwood imparts with an imperative tone onto the audience the precondition of ‘conflict in a story’, and the input of a three-dimensional ‘female lead in the centre of this conflict’, to more accurately depict the complexity of women. Atwood’s shared vision of equality is evident in the development of complex female characters in modern literature and film, such as Hermione Granger and Katniss Everdeen, that act as a multiplex model of behaviour for youth, in essence uprooting the ingrained stereotypes of women and furthering society towards equality. Nice contextual link.As such, Atwood is able to effectively examine the shared vision of equality to with audience, imparting methods of writing which oppose the imbedded misrepresentation of women. The analysis here is good, perhaps a little weaker than the prior paragraphs. Less textual evidence since you are spending longer explaining things, try to be a little more succinct to squeeze more in, if you can. You've really only got two techniques in this paragraph, aim for at least three solid techniques/analysis.

By heavily drawing on empathy, speakers prompt their audience to realise a shared vision of equality and its importance in creating a harmonious global society. Disparity in physical, economic and educational standards between global citizens is highlighted through Atwood’s extensive use of juxtaposition. Supposed to be Lessing here? After painting a blatantly bleak image of a corrupt and barren school in Zimbabwe, Lessing mentions “The next day I am to give a talk at a school in North London, a very good school… with beautiful buildings and gardens’, illuminating the present inequalities between these widely different societies. What technique is this? Perhaps delve into how the image of the school is painted? Further exerting the importance of equality, Lessing proposes the rhetorical questions ‘Is it really so impossible for these privileged students to imagine such bare poverty?’, provoking the audience to recognise such privilege, and hence emphasising the importance of a shared vision for equality. Good, I like that you actually consider the impact of the specific technique used. This shared vision is entrenched further into the minds of the audience, as Lessing exercises the use of inclusive pronouns in coup with a precautionary tone in ‘We all know this sad story. But we do not know the end of it’, foments the recognition of the true extent of inequalities existent, inducing empathy and the desire for global society based on equality. Therefore, Lessing is able to impart the shared vision of equality unto her audience through drawing on a sense of empathy.  Another good paragraph, but again it could be made better by being a little more succinct and adding more techniques - You slipped a bit into retell in places.

Overall, this is a fantastic essay! Very well written, clearly structured argument that answers the question, really nicely done!! Some paragraphs are definitely stronger than others (your 2nd is fantastic), you'd benefit from adding more techniques/analysis into the others to bring everything into a bit of a better balance. You've got 5 techniques/sets of techniques in that 2nd paragraph, aim to get there every time! A few bits of retell/less analytical sections I've indicated, those can come out to make room if you choose. Be sure to conclude your essay correctly, even with a sentence or two at the end just to restate your Thesis and bring everything together!

Excellent essay, great stuff

[jamonwindeyer]

Heyy
So I've got this assignment that I'm totally freaking out about simply because I don't feel like I know much about this module! It's been super hectic lately and I didn't get to read the text (Art of Travel) which I know is so terrible but I don't think I'll have time to and I don't know what to do! On top of my own confusion, my teacher has just changed and the new teacher decided to alter the assignment so I'm just not sure what I'm doing and I'm stressinggg 

I don't know if anyone here will be able to help me but I definitely wanted to seek help so I thought it was worth posting. I'll attach the alterations of the assignment and my plan of what I might want to do. (I don't have a soft copy of the original assessment sheet but the document I'm attaching outlines the task)

If no one is able to help out, I totally understand because it is a big ask. Thank you for reading this either way

Hey hey! hope you don't mind I moved this to the marking thread, just so I knew it was with everything else on the list to be looked at - It won't count towards your post count or anything like that. So a few comments based on the task and your plan:

- Great to see you are considering the Module. Be sure to read this guide for a breakdown of what is expected of you in Module C. Obviously you are creating a pamphlet not an essay, but it should be helpful nonetheless!
- I think the headings you've chosen aren't quite what the task is asking for - It seems to want you to explore themes/concepts. The first two work, though perhaps slightly similar (you could group under "The impacts landscapes have on individuals?") the third isn't quite a theme related to People and Landscapes. It is more of an analysis of the texts themselves, how structure impacts the themes. It might need to be reworked based on the suggestions you were given - I know the task says you can have it separate but I personally think it would work better threaded through! Take your pick though
- When you lay out the pamphlet, you'll have the same heading for AoT and your related (overlapping themes). Make this overlap clear and put the two next to each other, perhaps even grouped together some other way? It seems they want it separate, but make sure the link is obvious between the two texts
- Approach each section a bit like an essay, but perhaps in dot point form with the following structure:

Art of Travel communicates the following about how landscapes impact individuals:
- ___________: As communicated by TECHNIQUE in the quote "_____________."


This is overly simplistic and you can tweak it, but I think that is roughly what you should aim for! Then maybe even, under each heading, have a bubble for the structure stuff so they know you are covering it? Oh, and don't be afraid to use diagrams to explain your ideas! It seems like the criteria would like that

Bit of a brain dump, but I hope it helps!

[jamonwindeyer]

Hey I was just wondering if my module C essay is developed and sophisticated enough.
Thanks

Hey, This is a essay on hamlet Shakespeare, and the reason to why it is still relevant today.

Hey, welcome to the forums guys!! Thanks for posting your responses. Our essay marking rules require you to have 25 posts on ATAR Notes for every piece you'd like marked. The marking threads are crazy for Trials right now and this is our way of prioritising - You'll build it up in no time! Hope to see you posting around the forums more!