Favourite Quotes From Teachers?

[monokekie]

wow, i revisited this post and thought "what the hell 9 pages already?!"

Some kids struggled in a test
Banks "the problem with you guys is you refer to bob too much"
Bob is back of book

omg nowonder my spesh teacher says BOB all the time

[xXNovaxX]

^^lolll at yours
here's a teacher-student convo, doesn't really fit your topic tho:

(ESL class)

tcher: i ll brb (walked outta the room photocopying stuff)
students: *chitchat-chitchat(non-school-related)-chitchitchat*
tcher: (comes back) what are you guys talking about?
a student: (a typically cute overseas girl) Ms, we are just disgusting!
tcher: ....

LOL!!! Sorry i read it before, and i didn;'t get it, im like hmmm okay, then i re-read again just now because i had a feeling i was MISSING the point, then i got it =(, why am i so dumb xD

[TrueTears]

Student: "How do you make banana?"

Chem teacher: " Ba + 2Na -> BaNaNa"

[monokekie]

during a spesh SAC:

tcher: guys, you have 7 minutes left
students: *cramms* (sounds of flipping pages)

(after 5 minutes)

a student: how much time to we have left?
tcher: another 5 minutes. ( i have a watch, so was laughing internally)
students: pheww~

(after 3 minutes)

tcher: now you have another 4 minutes.

(after 7 minutes)

tcher: pens down.





most finished on time whereas the other class didn't

[ninwa]

Crim lecturer: "So I'm sure you've all studied the penis-mutilating fun that is R v Brown last semester. We're going to revise that quickly now. Yay! Criminal law is fun!"
Class: *backs away slowly*

(R v Brown is a case involving homosexual sado-masochism)

[IntoTheNewWorld]

This isn't a quote as such but one of the teachers at my school was rubbing off a drawing of a penis off the board (yes I go to a boy's school ><) but it was in permanent marker, so he had to draw on it first to rub it off. While he was drawing on the penis a picture was taken, and put into the school magazine...

[monokekie]

"miss, i am afrait i can't do it" "never try you never know Chem Is Try"

[methodsboy]

teacher: take your pants off!!!




jks jks

its funny cos its real

[fender.tele]

Here's something from my friend's chemistry teacher's appreciation page on fb:

"Every night before you put on your slippers, remember electrons can't swim because they don't have flippers"

"These marks are money for jam"

"This is a single ferrous atom (Fe); when you put them in a circle you get a ferrous wheel!"

"Water is a seriously kinky little beast - it likes it both ways."

"So you cuddle up to an oil refinery..." (to get sulphur to make sulphuric acid)

"Equilibrium law is cool dude stuff"

"Grab that mark and stuff it in your tuckerbag"

"If you were a terrorist this would be a really fun target" (fractional distillation)

"You bet your sweet bippy"

"LCP is the naughty boy principle"

"Suck rocks Aristotle, you were wrong!"

"Don't be a boron"

"Get some H2O2 in a bottle - they'll eye each other off and have some fun"

"If you get this wrong, I will splash blood! - it's in your best interests"

"I'm pouring out my heart here trying to fill your little heads with knowledge"

"Now when I start adding excess of this little beastie..."

"There are some big mommas that don't vaporise"

"Electrons look like they're playing ring-a-ring-a-rosies around the nucleus"

"If we were being REALLY orgasmic we could put more steps in this organic reaction pathway"

"NaHCO3 - it's pretty harmless but why is it so cute?"

"I used to go out and fertilise my lemon tree"

"That's the guts of digestion (pun intended)"

"A lot of this has to be mental - I know you think I'M mental"

"This ruthless bastard of a power cell keeps sucking up electrons - it's a real animal!"

"Last chance to get 'working like a Trojan, completely up to date with all assignments' on your report"

"We're talking poor old Cho Chang - give Cho the flick like Harry"

"If it moves, it's biology. If it smells, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics"

"Are you catching these pearls as they fall from my lips?"

"Halogens are a lovely family of hobbits - fluoro, bromo..."

"Do not pick a fight with fluorine! It's a strong oxidant"

"It's not just weak, it's PATHETICALLY weak"

"When you get drunk your brain is actually smarter than you are. It chooses to throw up or pass out"

"This hydrogen isn't a happy possum. It says 'keep em both you ratfink!'"

"Add an excess and give the test tube a spanking"

"Oxygen is left holding the baby"

"It's a haemoglobin choo-choo train!"

"Hydrogen bonding is sexy (examiners love it)"

ponder is awesome, makes me feel bad for doing badly in chem

[ninwa]

French lecturer:
"flies! zey are 'orrible! especially zees Australian blowflies! zey are like bombers! whooooooomshhhhhhhhvrooooommmmmm!"
*does plane imitation on wheely chair around the room*

god i love her

[ninwa]

haha! no, she's just absolutely insane... awesome, but insane

for the people who know something about French:
"ahhh, remember, zees verbs take both avoir and être. zey like it both ways, eh? *winks* zey are, what do you call it, bisexual verbs, hahahahahahaha!"

-_- (she laughs a lot, too)

[/0]

Just today everyone's favourite math teacher was working on an air resistance problem...

"If I went skydiving it would be a tourist attraction"
"When I hit the ground I'd make a hole bigger than the grand canyon"

Later he was checking the absentees (off at music camp) and scrutinizing their absence

Teacher: "what instrument does [person A] play?
Class: "he plays the piano"
Teacher: "huh? that's not part of a choir camp."
Class: "no it's music camp, he's playing a concerto with the orchestra"
Teacher: "ehhh, ok what does [person B] play?"
Class: "He's music captain lol"
Teacher: "heh ok... what does [person C] play then?"
Class: "He's the first violin, he leads the orchestra"
Teacher: "EH? What so you have 3 music captains do ya?"
(peers over to the first row)
Teacher: "And what do you play?"
Student: "Tetris"

[TrueTears]

^^ same teacher today to whom I asked a hard question

Me: Could you please help me with this question?

*Teacher has a look*

Teacher: nah too hard, it's friday afternoon last period, go away.

..
.
.

[samuch]

my crazy chem teacher:

"little laura is not with us,
little laura is no more,
for what she thought was H2O,
was really H2SO4!"

... she sung it and everything ....
 

[mandy]

Teacher: "(Student's name), are you doing methods next year?"
Student: "No .. "
Teacher: "WHATS WRONG WITH YOU?!"

Her tone and facial expression was priceless, LOL!